Rocket Boosties!

Well, today started the long and arduous task that will be the Poderosa Clean-Up Project. You thought Prince William Sound was a mess after the Exxon Valdez cruised by? You haven't seen the cesspit that has become My Humble Home.

I started with (yet again) more laundry, if only to get the massive piles of it out of the floor of my hallway. I then started on the kitchen table, whose top you could not see before tonight, and only now can you see about 15% of it. I went about trying to find a way to deodorize my laundry room cabinets - they have a damp musty smell to them, the same damp musty smell the kitchen cabinets had when I first moved in, only I open and close their doors all the time and they get a lot of fresh air, so their damp musty smell went away. I decided upon Arm & Hammer baking soda. I figure if it'll de-smell a refrigerator, it'll have to have some sort of pull with a cabinet. All laundry room cabinet doors are ajar as we speak, to air them out some.

I also moved most of the masses of clean clothes I have from the laundry room into their rightful places in my bedroom, threw a bunch of stuff away, wrapped my brother-in-law's birthday presents, and cleaned out both of my salt shakers and peppermills.

Interesting thing, that. Back during the Bee Raid of Aught-Three, when the exterminators came, I was afraid to do certain things. Like drink water from my water cooler. Why? Because I'm a pod and I'm weird. You should know that by now. But I somehow became obsessed with the fact that my salt shakers and peppermills had Bee Extermination Fallout (BEF) in them. So I set them both aside and used seasonings from the big boxes in the cabinets. But now, they're all clean and free of any BEF they may or may not have had.

And now I'm tired. Big surprise. I was tired before I started.

I drank a big ol' supersized glass of orange juice this morning, and swore I'd gulp down the vitamins I'd been taking up until I suddenly seemed to forget the fact that I took vitamins. I keep them at work so I see them there and don't forget. I went to work today. I forgot.

I'll remember tomorrow, maybe. But you know, I'm not sure they have vitamins for what I need. I need super-souped up vitamins. The kind you need a prescription for. Or maybe even the kind you buy on the street corner from guys named Skitch. I need "Rocket Boosties! Guaranteed to attach rocket boosters to your lazy ass within a week!" Comes in three forms: Jet Fuel (liquid), Solid Fuel (tablets), and Fuel Cannister (suppository).

Or maybe not.

I left a comment today guessing the answer to Stennie's daily trivia question, and it was meant to be a witty bon mot. It was so not a witty bon mot. After I looked at it I thought, "Rocket Boosties? Shit, I need something else, too. I need Funnykins! Guaranteed to make you cleverly witty within a week!" Chew one every day - pick a blue Dorothy Parker, a purple Mark Twain, a red David Sedaris, a green Calvin Trillin, or a yellow Oscar LeVant.

And while I'm at it, maybe I need to add to my vitamin regimen "Brainy Buddies! Powdered brain-boosting supplement in your favorite flavors!" Try 'em all - Albert Limestein, Choconfuscius, BF (Blueberry Flavored) Skinner, and Sigmund Fruity.

I'll take them all.