Sunday, October 19, 2003

The Two Things To Remember About Saturday....

It was not hot. And I got drunk.

I got a free pass to Shitfacedville on the Sauerkraut Band Express last night. I knew I was going to have a designated driver in Mr M, so when I arrived I found ET, keeper of the liquor, and gave him a job to do. "Get me drunk. If at any point in the evening you see me not drinking, poke me with a stick and give me shot of something." And apparently when you give ET a job, by damn, he takes it seriously.

I threw the beer-pacing I'd been practicing all season to the four winds and helped myself. I tested the peppermint schnapps, had two shots of the apple schnapps, and, shit, how many Jaegermeister shots? Lost count. Needless to say, Oktoberfest Saturday was a lot of fun. I had a blast with everyone, and probably made a gigantic fool of myself.

I'm not going to go on about my drunken escapades, because, if you weren't there drunk with me, they probably wouldn't be much to read about. However, I do want to tell you that my favorite story of Oktoberfest so far happened last night.

It comes courtesy of Ethan. Ethan's four years old, and Ethan was picked - along with a couple of kids and a bunch of adults - to come up onstage and do the Chicken Dance. Ethan was a serious cutie, little blonde-haired sweetheart. As Ed went down the line interviewing everyone who came up onstage, as he does, adult or kid, he eventually got to Ethan. The conversation went like this:

Ed: And what is your name?
Ethan: Eeee-tan.
Ed: Ethan! And how old are you?
Ethan: Foouh.
Ed: And where do you live?
Ethan: Mawawand.
Ed: Maryland! And do you go to preschool?
Ethan: Yeessssss
Ed: And what do you want to be when you grow up?
Ethan: A....[pause]....a hospital.

I mean, is that not the sweetest thing in the world? I was hoping Ethan's parents would forget him going down the mountain so I could scoop him up and take him home.

Then again, that wouldn't have been much fun for Ethan. "Who is dis dwunk wady taking me away fwom Mommy and Daddy?"

Scratch that thought....

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