Observations Made While Watching This Year's Showing Of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

1. When Rudolph and his buddies are playing around at the first Reindeer Games meeting, talking about meeting does and such, the music in the background is an orchestrated, very poppy version of "Rockin Around The Christmas Tree." In an estimated 35 viewings of this show, I'd never noticed that before.

2. Clarice must have the richest reindeer family in Christmastown. She's the only doe that can afford a nice bow for her head.

3. While it was mean of the other reindeer to hurl epithets at Rudolph like "schnozz," "firesnout," and the like, it's odd not one chose to call him "sissy" or "baby." Rudolph seems to be the only young reindeer to show up for the first day of Reindeer Games with Mom and Dad in tow.

4. There's not always tomorrow for dreams to come true.

5. The relationship of Mr and Mrs Claus is eerily like that of my own mom and dad. She's happy and smiling, snapping her fingers along to the Elf Song (she even goes behind Santa's back to tell them their song was perfect). She's trying to get Santa to eat and be happy. Santa, however, is something of a horse's ass, grumpy, bored, and generally just wanting to be left alone. However, I didn't see Santa getting three sheets to the wind most nights between 5 and 8pm.

6. One of Yukon Cornelius's mush-dogs is a French Poodle.

7. While it was sad that Rudolph was sent away from the Reindeer Games because of his "disability," for the times (1965) it wasn't really that uncommon. Who amongst us who was attending elementary school in 1965 had any kind of child with a disability as a classmate? That was pretty much mandatory home-schooling.

8. Could it possibly be that what makes the doll a Misfit Toy is that she's just...a doll? The Elf Leader himself says, "We have dolls that walk, talk, eat, cry, laugh and run a temperature." Well, maybe she can't do any of those things, so she's a misfit. (Actually, I still think it has to do with her immensely swollen ankles.)

9. If Hermey's a gay elf dentist, and Rudolph has a red nose, and they're misfits, why isn't Melf, the Tall Elf with Glasses, also a misfit? He doesn't look like everyone else. He's nearsighted and six feet tall. But there he is right with all the other elves, singing and dancing and being a part of everything. Does he escape because he's with the program?

10. Every time I hear Comet at the Reindeer Games saying, "I not only wanna be your coach, but I wanna be your pal," my skin crawls. I think Comet molests young reindeer at the Games every year. That's why they fly so fast.