Acrowinners!

Arrrr arrrrroorrrrrr arf arf aoooooooooooooooo! Yes, I'm taking a small break from doggie-watching to let you all know who this week's acrowinners are.

You know, I've found the dog breed for me at this show. I was watching last night while on the phone with my sister, and while the announcer was extolling all the virtues of each dog I said to her, "I want a dog that they say 'his best attributes are lying on the couch watching TV.'" Well, lo and behold, in a mere hour later, the Bull Terrier was described by that same announcer as, "After an active and mischievous puppyhood, get ready to enjoy a long and happy life on the couch." Well, there you go.

This week's letters were I N E R L I G. The entries:

*I never expected roses, love. I'm gormless.
*It's nearly endless, repetitive, lousy, insulting -- Grammys.
*Inside Nevada, extremely rowdy Liberace incites guffaws.
*It nowhere ever references limericks in guidelines.
*Illiterate nudnicks eschew reading limericks? It's goofy.
*I nominate Elizabeth Regina Limericka, Imperial Goddess.
*I never ever realized Lynde is gay.
*Internet nerds eagerly reinstalled Linux, insulted Gates.
*I never! Except rarely. Lick it? Gross!
*In Norway, Even Raw Liver Is Gourmet
*I'll Never Eat Rutabaga Lasagna - It's Ghastly!
*In Neon Effervescent Red, Lily Is Garish
*IRS. Notable earnings? Robbery's legal in Government
*Igloos: Nanook Eskimos "Refridgerated Livingroom" is glacial.
*"I'm not engaged. Ring lie. Infuriates Guys."
*I Need Eggs. Runny? Livid, I Gag.
*Interesting, Naughty Ervin Rarely Lies. I'm Grateful.
*In Netherlands, Eveyone Really Likes Ice. Good!
*In Nevada, everybody really loathes internet gambling.
*It's not easy, ruling like I'm God.
*In nihilistic existentialism, rational logical idealism's goofy.

And now, to make his grand pronouncements to the world, may I introduce the man himself, he who will gladly pick your brain and make you question your sanity, the one and only Mr M:

First, let's get this out of the way!: MSAGRO, "IRS" ain't a word! You can't use an initialism in acro unless it's spoken as a word. GRRRRR! For that, you have to tell us something about yourself in Bet's Comments section. You're a mystery man/woman/hermaphrodite/whatever-the-opposite-of-"hermaphrodite"-is, and we want to know about you.

However, the first honorable mention goes to the selfsame MSAGRO for "I'm not engaged. Ring lie. Infuriates Guys" for its pithiness and MSAGRO's persistence.

The second honorable mention goes to Bet for "I'll Never Eat Rutabaga Lasagna - It's Ghastly!" I can almost taste it.

The all around winner is Lily G., for her "I never expected roses, love. I'm gormless."

Lily accomplishes three things here: she salutes Valentine's day, she appropriately and poetically uses an archaic word, and she shows us all the kind of really esoteric vocabulary that one may pick up at Yale. (I bet this was on Friday's spelling test.) Plus, it sounds nice.

But wait! We have an additional winner in the "Revenge" category: DeepFatFriar for "Illiterate nudnicks eschew reading limericks? It's goofy."

(It's my call, so I'm sticking in this new category. If you don't like it, pffffffffffffft!)

So congratulations to the all-round winner Lily, our special category winner DeepFatFriar, and our honorably mentioned.

Time for me to take my cape and head home.

Well, there you have it, folks. The Man has spoken. Thanks to all who played, and welcome back next week for another round of acros.