(Disclaimer: This is a surgery-related blog. If you're sick of my surgery or don't want to know, check back later.)

Paying Through The Nose, Or The Stomach As The Case May Be

You know, money is a funny thing. I mean, it doesn't tell you jokes or do pratfalls, but it sometimes gives you that wry chuckle, the kind you chuckle all the while thinking you might jump off a building.

I've been saving money for months. This is because I had a major surgery and knew I was going to have expenses. Now, here's the tricky part. I'm generally a pretty smart gal, fairly, anyway, but in this case I was naive enough to believe that all I was going to be in for was $2250. That would be $2000 out-of-pocket and $250 deductible.

Yes, that sound you heard was me just falling off the turnip truck.

I saved my tax refunds. I saved from my paychecks. I drew some money from my savings account. Now, I must admit, I was very lucky to get a windfall from a little TheCompanyIWorkFor hospital supplement policy I have. It pays me a flat fee for every day I'm in the hospital. When the check came, it was double what I was expecting it to be. Of course I panicked, and called TheCompany asking what I did wrong and where should I hide so they don't send people out to break my legs. Turns out there's a little codicle in that policy that says if I'm in intensive care, I get double what I'd normally get. Thank you, intensive care!

And by the way, the $2250? Well, this is how naive I actually was. First of all, my hospital policy, which I guess I can no longer call the "never pay policy," this policy that is sold through TheCompanyIWorkFor, that I thought I pretty much knew inside and out - well, I was sure that the window of opportunity for coverage was six months. You know, as long as you are hospitalized within six months of your first test or doctor's visit, you're fine. Ehhhhhhh, wrong answer. It's three months. It's six months after, three months before. Therefore, my first doctor's visit, all my first bloodwork, urinalysis, and the most expensive test I had, the echocardiogram, were done about three months and three weeks before the surgery. No coverage. However, after finding that little nugget of information out, I called the hospital and I'm paying that bill myself on installments, $200 and something, for the next five months. I can deal with that; which is good, since I don't have much of a choice.

I also got a bill from my anesthesiologist. Now, my anesthesiologist was as nice as can be, and his Australian sidekick was a total doll, and they must know this about themselves, because their opinions of said selves is apparently pretty damn high. My bill to them was $1260. After TheCompanyI'mInsuredWith paid their part of the bill I was left owing - yes, the princely sum of $1228.13. Now, I may never be able to call it the "never pay policy" again, but paying $31.87 on a $1260 bill? I still haven't figured that one out yet. They paid for all of the anesthetic during the surgery. Which brings me to another burr I have up my butt - why don't anesthesiologists come with their anesthetic? Why do I have to pay for both? Do I have to pay for my doctor and his scalpel?

But enough of that. Since I opened my new and separate little bank account for medical expenses, yesterday I decided it was high time I started getting these bills off my desk (and my mind), so I paid what I had outstanding. Three bills: one to the hospital, one to the doctor, and one to Drs Dreamy & Crocodile Dundee, anesthesiologists.

So I paid three bills. I started out with $4056.54. 20 minutes later I had $369.00

And I chuckled wryly to myself.