The Bizness of Spelling

I had to go driving today. Another TheCompanyIWorkFor class. Meaningless and boring, but I got 2 hours of valued Continuing Ed credit for it.

I arrived on time, parked in the lot, then proceeded into the district TheCompanyIWorkFor building. I saw a sign on a building fifty or so yards away. Then I saw it again, because I had to look twice. It looked like it said "Cruzy Duizy," which I'm supposing would be pronounced "Cruisey Dweezy." I walked, still looking, thinking, "What in the hell kind of store is that?" Then I noticed that on either side of the door facings of the building, in letters going up and down, it said "Tattoos." Only the "A"s in both "Tattoos" were upside down. Then, intelligent being that I almost am, I realized that that first sign said "Crazy Daizy," and both of the "A"s in those words were upside down as well.

And the reason I mention this is not because I was overcome with worry that someone would let a person named Crazy Daizy put a permanent ink drawing upon his or her person, although I must admit that since then I've thought about that quite a bit.

The reason I mention this is because it's yet another example of the way people open businesses and spell things wrong.

Sometimes I take this all for granted and it doesn't bother me much. Like Tastee Freez. Spelling things with two "E"s on the end just means it's that much more, right? Tastee is much tastier than Tasty. Just like Crazee is way more crazy than Crazy, and Krazee is about as crazy as one can get. In fact, anyone who'd let someone named Krazee Daizy near him or her with a tattoo needle would be, well, for want of a better word, krazee. (Now, I will admit that "Freez" kind of gets on my wick. But to anyplace with soft serve that good, and especially chocolate soft serve, I say, "What's a little dropped 'e' between friends?")

On the way home from my class, I passed a children's clothing store. It was called Kids' Kottage. Now that one bothered me. The switching of "C"s and "K"s - how passe. It reminds me of a catering service in a town some miles west of me. Kathy's Kustom Katering. Now, I don't know about you, but here's how I feel about it: Kathy may well be the nicest person in town, but when I look at a van slapped with the epithet Kathy's Kustom Katering, all I see is KKK. And I don't want my soiree catered by Nazis, thank you very much.

You know, I wonder sometimes what kind of ego trip ol' Kath must be on. There are three words in her business. She misspells two just to have them match her name. And invokes the name of the Klan. Wow.

Kathy also breaks another bad spelling rule - she doesn't own the type of business that would lend itself to the name "Kustom Katering." "Just Desserts," maybe, or "A Moveable Feast." But "Kustom Katering?"

Food places, fireworks stands, hairdressers (I don't even want to start on the bad hairdresser names), convenience stores...they have the carte blanche where bad spelling is concerned. You never see it in Banks, or Churches. Or Hospitals. Or Universities. Fargo Farmacological College. Psychiatric Apsociates, LTD (Psally Psmith, Ph.D). Peoplez Bank of Loz Angelez.

So where am I going with all of this? I've no idea. But I won't be changing it to TheCompanyIWork4 anytime soon.