I'm It

Oooh, aren't I just, though.

I've been tagged by Flipsycab to do the "A Bunch of 'If I Were' Questions" Quiz. And, well, when you're tagged, you know you have to do it. I'm a woman of principle. Actually, I'm alone in my principles. And I'm going off to write that hit song of the same name.

Before I start "If I Were"ing, let me tell you about my knee. It's wrenched, and it hurts.

See, this morning I seem to have fallen in my pants.

I have no idea what happened, really, all I know is that one minute there was a foot in the leg of my jeans and the next minute I was being hurled to the floor. It was like the minute I tried to enter those pants, the legs twisted up like a pretzel. And I landed on my shoe. And it was a hard shoe. I guess I don't put my pants on just like everybody else.

And I also realized, with the little blanket tumble at Mr M's, this is now two times in as many months I've found myself floor bound. I'll end up breaking a hip, I just know it.

OK, now on to the fun and frivolity:

If I could be a scientist: I'd work on the Healthy Cigarette.
If I could be a farmer: My animals would all learn to sleep way past dawn.
If I could be a musician: What are you talking about - I am a musician!
If I could be a doctor: I'd barter and take trades for payment from the uninsured. I'd also not ridicule people for not being healthy.
If I could be a painter: I wouldn't get frustrated and give up every five minutes.
If I could be a gardener: I'd wear green jeans.
If I could be a missionary: I'd tell everyone about the Bible autographed by Jesus.
If I could be a chef: I'd specialize in foods shaped like famous people and things.
I could be an architect: I'd start a partnership with George Costanza.
If I could be a linguist: I'd like to speak German. It's such a harsh language, when you speak it it sounds like you mean something.
If I could be a psychologist: I'd heal myself.
If I could be a librarian: I'd just hang at the library and read all day long.
If I could be an athlete: I'd faint.
If I could be a lawyer: I wouldn't. Except maybe real estate. I had nice people who made the Poderosa purchase not-so-scary.
If I could be an innkeeper: I would let Jesus stay in a nice room. With cable and air conditioning.
If I could be a professor: I like Flipsy's answer to this one.
If I could be a writer: My blogs would be funny and entertaining, like they were a couple of years ago.
If I could be a llama-rider: I would ride him up to people I don't like and let him spit.

There. I tag everyone else now.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* For the first time in I really can't remember how long, there's a distinct possibility that I may get to spend a whole, long, holiday weekend at my house. I'm so damned excited about that. Who wants to go in my place Monday and play patriotic music?
* I fell in my pants.