Crash Into Me pt 2, or Hell Week

Well.

First of all, this is not a movie review, so don't be afraid.

Interesting things at the old TheCompanyIWorkFor. I got to work this morning, quite on time, thank you, and proceeded to start up my computer. And it was an otherworldly experience.

I started getting these error messages. This was invalid, that was invalid. Error here, error there. This couldn't be loaded, that wouldn't pass the security check. I restarted a few times and got the same windows, one popping up after the other, and I began to believe that every time I touch a computer these days it must go toe-up.

Finally, when I couldn't resolve the problem on my own, I called good old ISC. (TheCompanyIWorkFor is famous for its acronyms, btw. Every program, every department, every manual, they're all acronyms. Maybe TheCompanyIWorkFor should come to acrochallenge some time.)

I got a nice guy on the line, and he tried to help me fix the problem myself. When that didn't work he told me to hook up my favorite computer feature of all time, NetOp. (Followed closely by Remote Assistance, which allows Mr M and I to have the most amazing online fights over the usage of my mouse.) But NetOp wouldn't load, and error/security/invalids kept popping up in little windows until there were finally 43 of them staring me in the face. And Mr Nice Guy At ISC decided it was time to send me to Corporate. This was after Mr Nice Guy and I decided we were going to make our first million by composing some new Windows chords for when things were going horribly wrong.

Soon after I hung up with Mr Nice Guy, I got a call from Steve at Corporate. Fortunately, Steve was as nice as Mr Nice Guy. And Steve and I did this and that, and when he learned that he couldn't NetOp me either, he started doing some checking around.

Now, it's at this point that everything got quiet on the phone, and my workmate San picked that opportunity to tell me a story about her son. And the argument they had last night. And it was a great and funny story, told as only San could tell it, and I sat there and listened, enrapt, with the phone halfway over my chin. As her story ended and she drifted back up front to her office, and I was left again with silence and the faint clicking of keys, I decided I'd go ahead and ask. "Did you hear any of that story?" Which was followed on the other end of the line by the most hilarious fit of laughter I think I've ever heard. "Ah, you did," I replied. "Seems San's having a few problems with her son." "Oh, I think she might have the situation quite under control," he answered, and he was right, of course, because San generally does.

So in between some more silence and muffled giggles, Steve gave me the news. Basically the news is that I'm screwed. Because my computer, sometime yesterday afternoon, apparently had a grand mal seizure and will not recover. It is quite dead.

And that's not really the end of the world, because sitting in our storeroom there at TheCompanyIWorkFor we have a roomful of new computers. I was getting one of those for my little office anyway. However, the install doesn't happen until a week from today. And if TheCompanyIWorkFor did want to take the time and expense to send me a new computer, which, of course, they don't, the new machine wouldn't arrive till Friday at the earliest, and Monday at the latest.

It seems I'm a little bit between a rock and hard place.

So I've been banished. I've been banished to the departed Kath's old office, the next to the last one back in the building, with none of my toys, nothing on the walls (walls painted, I'm sure, from blood mixed with vanilla ice cream, btw), no character, no sunlight, and no proximity to any other living co-workers. They may as well have put me back in the bathroom. I have no idea what's going on anywhere, with anyone, and I can't even watch people walk down the street when I'm supposed to be working, like I can in my real office. It's a sad and dull place. I feel like the rest of the office is up there having a party and I'm stuck in the corner wearing a dunce cap. But I have a working computer. My only friend.

And he shall be my only friend for the next week.

On a brighter note, though, although it's not helping me out right now - I don't think I've mentioned yet what fun I'm having raping Kath's old office and taking all the good stuff in it for my own personal usage. First I took her chair, which is newer and much more comfy than mine (although right now I'm back in my old chair, at her desk). Then I took a little toy she left behind, a tiny ATV which Good Luck Baby Lily is sitting on right now. (It's made her so happy, and she's almost forgotten about that nasty hole in her midsection where Gossamer tried to eat her but spit her back up in the nick of time, etc, etc.) Then I decided to take her desk of shelves, which were much nicer than mine and have lots more room for all my manuals, books, pictures, and the like (although right now I'm back looking at the old set, which I took from my office back to hers).

Next is going to be the really nice brocade box I gave her for her birthday and filled to the brim with chocolates. The chocolates are long gone; apparently she didn't think enough of me, or the box, to take it with her when she left. I'll bring that home and do something with it.

Oh, I did today, however, find a brand new package of index cards back there which I've decided to use as sort of non-sticky post it notes. I'm taking all my notes on them, and will only be happy when I've used them all up. That'll teach her to send our office ugly faxes and accuse the boss of trying to block her unemployment.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm using your index cards! Yeah, go ahead and cry, see if I care!"

The fun never ends around here.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Lawks a mercy, look at the acro entries this week! And holy letter tiles, Batman - has Eric come from the dead to acro?
- Honorable Mention this week goes to Anonymous, also known as Mike, for "Steve, Roger excitedly frolicked towards weddedness." (Although I've also been known to frisk a waitstaff or two.)
- Runner-up goes to Kellie, for "Solemn Reverend. Eloquent. Farted. Tainted Wedding." I really hope she wasn't describing her own nuptials there.
- And this week's winning acro goes the man who crawled out from under a rock, Funafuti, for "Shit, Reverend Eddie fucked Tom's wife." This reminds me of those early days of acroing on irc with #squeeze. Some of the filthiest acronyms ever devised, they were.
- So, Funafuti, Oktoberfest will be over at the end of October, and I've always loved fall anyway. I'll reserve the church, let's see, my family pays for the wedding, you can sing an original song, and we'll invite everyone in the world.
- Everyone's were great, and thanks, everyone, for playing!