The Reading Club

Well. The Poderosa Reading Club seems to be back on the move lately, and may I just say how proud I am of this fact. See, my boys, because they love me so, have dedicated this session to reading the works of an outstanding but underrated author. That would be no less a person than Alan F Arkin himself.

Misters Peanut and Peabody (oh, shit, I didn't do that alphabetically, I'd better correct that before there are billing fights) - Misters Peabody and Peanut are reading Alan's book about his own spiritual journey to enlightenment, "Halfway Through The Door." Huckleberry Hound is reading the still-popular "The Lemming Condition," Good Luck Baby Lily is thoroughly enjoying "Tony's Hard Work Day," and up to this point Gossamer has eaten the covers of two of my Alan F videos, "Simon" and "Magicians." He's quite proud of this, because he's one ahead of everyone else. (Well, actually, that's an assumption on my part; I once thought Gossamer had no pride, as he's a little sketchy on all his emotions, but he does enjoy a makeover. There's got to be some pride in that.)

And Sherman and I just finished the book I acquired yesterday, "Cassie Loves Beethoven." And we both liked it so much Sherman thought I should do a "book report" on it. And since I'm not a student, and he is, and Peabody promised him a little extra credit in English and Technical Communications, we've decided to turn the blog over to Sherman tonight and let him review the book.

So - take it away, Sherman!

Hi, Folks! *Ahem. Ahem.*

"Cassie Loves Beethoven," by Alan Arkin (Bet, there's no "F" in Alan Arkin, I just don't understand why you keep doing that, but it makes you giggle, so I guess I'll put up with it.)

Cassie is a cow. She was bought by the Kennedy family because the kids, David and Hallie, thought it would be fun to have a cow, and also because they could have lots of milk, yogurt, butter, and ice cream from her. But Cassie won't give any milk!

So the family tries everything they can think of so she will give milk. Finally, they decide to play music for her. They try all kinds of music, and it works a little, but when they find a classical music station on the radio, the milk starts coming.

Everything is going fine until one morning they find Cassie and she won't give milk. In fact, she won't do anything. She just lays on her side and sighs. She then tells the kids why she is so emotional. She heard some music on the radio that just turned her upside down.

After the family gets over the shock of the fact that they have a talking cow, they start trying to find out what music it was that she heard. They find that it was Beethoven's Sixth Symphony. It's all she can talk about, that music and how wonderful Beethoven must be that he can make all those sounds by himself. They tell her he doesn't do all that, that he just wrote the music and musicians play it and it goes on the radio.

Cassie goes missing one day and when the family finds her, she's on her way to go see a concert where Beethoven will be played. They sneak her into the concert where she can hear the music, and she goes wild. And decides she is going to learn to play an instrument.

Now, I have to tell you right here that Cassie is a very headstrong cow. If she wants something, she's going to find a way to get it, mainly by wearing everybody down till they give in. Hmmm, reminds me of someone I know.

So the kids go to the school music teacher, Mr Katzenbach, and start borrowing instruments, but Cassie can't play any of them. They try a trumpet, cello, tuba, and some others. She wanted a flute, but they told her she couldn't play that because of her hooves. Or an oboe, or clarinet. That's probably good, as those are hard instruments to play, at least the clarinet, which I can tell you from personal experience.

Finally Mr Kennedy makes a big piano for her to play, and she starts to try. And she gets really mad because she thinks she can just start right out playing Beethoven's Sixth Symphony, even though she doesn't know anything about music. She gets even madder when the kids tell her she has to learn to read music and play the notes. And she has to practice. She doesn't want to practice, she wants to play the Beethoven piece. Boy, does that sound like someone else I know! Never wants to practice, just wants to be able to magically play the music. Sheesh. Some people.

But she knuckles down and practices. Every day, all day long. (I hope some people learned a lesson from that.) And she learns to play a few songs, but no Beethoven because his music is very hard. Then Cassie decides she wants to give her own concert, and tells Mr Katzenbach and the kids, and they decide she can give a concert with the school orchestra. But Cassie says she'll only do it if she can play Beethoven. So everyone has to look for a Beethoven song she can play. After they look a lot, they find one.

And the work begins. Cassie practices and practices. And finally the day of the concert comes. The school orchestra has been practicing too, but when Cassie comes out onstage and begins to play, they're all shocked and can't play. A cow?? Finally, they try again, and everyone plays the Beethoven piece (it's a Rondo), and the audience thinks it's the greatest thing they've ever seen.

That night Cassie is asked to play another concert, this time with a symphony orchestra! She accepts, and begins to work again. But something is happening to Cassie. She's so caught up in the concert and her performance that she's starting to become not a very nice cow. She's a nervous wreck. She yells at people and berates them because she doesn't think they play as well as they should. (Hey! That kind of reminds me of someone else I know! Ha, Ha, only kidding, Mr Bruce!)

She plays her Beethoven Rondo with the symphony, and again everyone loves her and thinks she is wonderful, and she is basking in the glory of success. She's also gotten quite a big head. I don't mean a big head like mine, which is actually a large head, but a big head meaning she's pretty proud of herself.

This is until Hallie reads a newspaper review to Cassie, and they didn't like her very much. Cassie gets really bent out of shape over this and goes to find the reviewer and is telling her off in no uncertain terms when the reviewer says something that brings Cassie back down to earth. That maybe Cassie has the idea that she's more important than the music she's playing. (Hey! That sounds like yet someone else I know, but thankfully, I only have to deal with that about twice a year.)

Cassie is now a very unhappy cow, and says she's never going to play the piano again. And she doesn't. At least for a long time, until one day she starts playing again, just because she likes the music and how it makes her feel. And that's how the book ends, only with something really cute at the very very end that I'm not going to tell, because I'm sure after this report you're all going to go out and find the book yourselves to read.

And so that's the story of Cassie, and of the book. There was only one thing I didn't understand in this book and that was that David and Hallie and Mr Kennedy were all very shocked when Cassie began talking to them, but no one else ever gave it a second thought. I asked Bet about this and she said that she was sure there was a reason for this, that maybe once they saw that a cow could play the piano maybe they weren't so shocked when she started talking. She said that Mr Arkin was a very good writer and smart person and she was sure he knew what he was doing.

And I agree with Bet. It was a very good book. Mr Kennedy should have found a way to make a giant clarinet though, instead of a piano. The clarinet is a much better instrument than the piano.

I shall sign off now. Back to you, Bet!

Thank you, Sherman. Now was that a great book report or what? The boy's talented, there's no denying it. He gets an "A" from me, Mr Peabody.

By the way, I know there are lessons to be learned in the book, but there's one fact that Mr Arkin, as good a soul as he is, failed to mention in his book.

Practicing is boring!

(Take a good look at Sherman's lederhosen above - after one last performance Thursday he'll be putting them up for the season. And by the way, I must tell you the story one day of the sandwich in the picture. It's a good story.)

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners. Figure skating acrowinners. And I just have to say that this is one of those weeks where any one of you could or should have won. Every one of you had at least one acro that rocked. No losers here.
- Honorable Mentions go to Michelle, with her "Gracefully, nine elephants finessed numbingly beautiful arabesques," and LilyG, with her "Glacial nerves eject fear. Now bowing, arrogantly."
- Runner-Up goes to Kellie, with her "Gliding. Nathan. Effortlessly. Found nick. Bangs ass."
- And this week's winner goes to Flipsycab, with her "Gillooly nabbed eventually. Finally, Nancy bowed again."
- Again, thanks to all who played. Your acros were great!