Everybody Should Try This

As you'll recall, well, the ones of you who read my blog and kind of remember things, I wrote a month or so ago about a gift idea I had for Dad. And that was to tape some of my blogs for him (I ended up with three tapes full) and give them to him so he could have the gift of Betland.

When I was still pondering this idea, I ran it by a couple of people, namely Mr M and Stennie. Mr M said, "Good idea," or maybe it was, "Brilliant," though I'm not sure I've ever heard him use that word, it might be my imagination. And Stennie said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Not only is that a great idea, but I want copies!"

And so I made my tapes, and Christmas came and went, and yes, Dad finally listened to the tapes and said he thoroughly enjoyed them. And I was happy, and that was that.

Until a few weeks later in #squeeze, when I got this missive from Stennie - "And where are my tapes?"

"I thought you were joking!" I shot back. And I did.

But no, Stennie informed me she was indeed not joking at all, and that she wanted those blogs my dad got. Which was more than a little problematic, because I recorded those cassettes in my little hand-held machine, then *whoom!* sent them off to Dad. I had nothing to send anywhere else.

So I downloaded a free trial of a sound editor for the computer, sat down with my blogs again, and gave it the old heave. I read blogs into the computer that I could make sound files of and not only have for burning onto CDs, but to have forever there in the old computer, at least until it crashes and I lose everything. I recorded most the stuff I gave Dad, and some new stuff, new as in "written after the first recordings" and new as in "didn't record it the first time." And the stuff I recorded for the computer, I didn't censor. I couldn't send Dad a bunch of blogs filled with the sailor's mouth he probably knows I have, but I won't unleash in his presence.

And once I'd recorded all I had to offer at that time, I started arranging stuff onto CDs for my dear Stennie. I ended up with a staggering 3 CDs full of stuff. And I left out a couple, one by mistake, and two I just didn't have room for so they didn't make the cut. I sent them off to her - along with some Hackensaw Boys music! - and was more than chuffed to find out she not only got them, but enjoyed them as well.

For some reason, the thing that makes me the proudest is that I almost made her wreck her car when she laughed at something in one of the blogs as she was driving. Yes, I will always take pride in the fact that I almost killed my friend.

And after Stennie told me about her fun in listening, she gave me a surprise - she was making me a series of CDs of her blogs!

Now, the whole process of getting her blogs, and sorry Stennie, you're a wonderful person and I love you to death, the whole process was rather painful. Stennie, I guess being a performer and going to film school and all, was apparently something of a perfectionist where her blogs were concerned. Every time I asked her if she'd mailed them, she was "re-recording." I wanted to scream, "This isn't a Mariah Carey album, for God's sake!" But I didn't, I just waited, even if the waiting was not at all patiently. Stennie will attest to this and can probably tell you the exact numbers of "have you sent my tapes yet?" she's gotten over the past few weeks.

But finally, after getting up early on Saturday to check my PO Box, I got my CDs. Perfect! Right in time for my drive to B'burg, and the trip to the one street (or two) known as Thomas, WV. I got in the car Saturday afternoon, pulled out onto the road, and slipped in the first CD. By the time I reached the on-ramp to the Betty Bet Bet Inspirational Highway, which is about a mile from my house, I was already laughing. Out loud. In the car. By myself.

And the laughing never really stopped. Her set to me contained a whopping 50-plus blogs. And yes, her blogs are generally shorter than mine (with my keyboard diarrhea) and she talks way faster than I do (think Bugs Bunny vs. Huckleberry Hound), but still. Over 50! It all ebbed and flowed, and yes, there was a point in the proceedings where - with Stennie using the same technique I'd used on her, making up a song - I almost wrecked my car.

There are a lot of funny things about Stennie's CDs, but then again, you read Stennie, you know that when she does give us a blog other than Daily Trivia, it's sharp and hip and will give you the giggles.

And I also need to interject at this point and make a very heartfelt statement. Those three CDs of Stennieville were probably the only thing that kept me going on my trip Sunday, that trip up all those mountains, having to pee, sure I was dead and cruising through hell for eternity, which, if you think about it, had I been sent to spend an eternity in hell in the middle of nowhere with pee-stained pants, God probably wouldn't have given me something so enjoyable with which to bide my time. So I should have realized on those mountains I wasn't dead after all, I guess.

But here's the thing. On the day Stennie started listening to my blogs, she left a comment on Betland and here it was:

I should perhaps not mention this (because then EVERYBODY will want one), but Bet sent me some CD's of live Betcasts (hey - "PODcasts!"), and I started listening to them today in the car. And you might think you love reading Bet's blog, but *listening* to Bet's blog is even more pleasurable. Only problem is, often I am laughing so hard that I miss the next thing she says.

At the time, I thought, "What a nice thing to say." And after getting Stennie's blog CDs, I realized, well, she's right. Listening to the actual person read his or her blog puts an entirely new spin on things. It just brings everything to life. Accents, inflections, pauses, everything becomes a part of the mix.

I'm thinking everyone who has a blog needs to do a little recording. Maybe everyone period, whether they have a blog or not! (Mr Hernandez, take note of this suggestion.) Then maybe we could start out some sort of lending library of blogs, so everyone can enjoy everyone else's. I think it could work.

Oh, and I'm maybe not supposed to mention this, but I will anyway. Stennie's set of CDs to me had a "hidden track" on it. And I won't give too much away, but I will say all that guitar practice she blogs about seems to be paying off.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* If anyone's caught a few of the ski-jumping events at the Olympics this time round, they may have noticed something. In between the two ski ruts all the way down the jump ramp, they've planted little baby pine trees. They're maybe a foot high, no more than three twiggly little branches, right there between the jumpers' legs as they launch off into space. My thoughts? Matches held there about three years from now are going to be very painful for the competitors.
* I'm getting really bored, by the way, with the Olympics, and I've figured out why. Not enough crashes. Since the girl fell on her skis and the girl fell off the luge and a bunch of prissy men fell in the figure skating, it's all been smooth sailing. Where's that bobsled crash of death we've all been waiting for?