Blogstipation

I can remember a commercial from my childhood. Probably for Haley's M-O (do they even make that anymore?) or Phillips Milk of Magnesia. There was a normal person going along, minding his own business, when all of a sudden he'd get a look on his face of total shock, and a chorus would sing, "Con-sti-PA-tion!" We just thought it was funny back then because of the little one-word song, which we sang all the time. Now, looking back, I think of it as funny because it happened so suddenly. A sudden attack of constipation. Constipation doesn't attack suddenly, like a stroke or coronary, it works its way into one. Now, had it been reversed, and the chorus sang, "Di-a-RRHE-a!" it would have made more sense.

Anyway, I've got a little case of blogstipation. I just can't come up with anything to write about. I think about it while I walk. I come up with little ideas, little thoughts, but they're nothing more than that, they can't be fleshed out in any way. I'm blaming this on work. As you may have guessed, it's been very busy there at TheCompanyIWorkFor, what with San gone and Tempie being there, and when I get home my brain is just gone. Really, ask anyone who's talked to me. It's gone.

So, something that popped into my mind just today. Isn't it weird how Disney's "Lady and the Tramp" is this nice, sweet, romantic film that kids and parents everywhere love, and really all it's about is a stray dog that knocks up a fancy pedigreed dog? I mean, when that happens in real life, it's a very distressing thing. See, there's a question that needs to be addressed, but there's not really anything else you can say about it other than that.

There was an episode of the Dick Van Dyke show way back when where Rob was writing a novel and wanted some time to really work on it. So he went up in the mountains, to, if I'm not mistaken, Alan Brady's cabin, where he was all alone with a table and a typewriter. And of course he developed the world's worst case of writer's block. The whole episode was him trying to write, there at that table. My boss doesn't have a cabin in the mountains, or anywhere else, for that matter, so I can't even try that, but I fear I'd be doing the same thing, only not nearly as funnily, and my problems wouldn't wind up in a tidy 30 minutes.

Something kind of funny happened at work today. The boss was on the phone, and Tempie told me that something was wrong with the fax machine, it wasn't working properly, and she asked if I'd come back and help. We'd just replaced the film, and we knew it had to have something to do with that, and there we were pulling out film and snapping it back in and doing everything to get it back in working order, but nothing helped. Finally, I had other things to do so I drifted back to my desk, and suddenly Tempie announced she'd gotten the fax back up and running. And you know how?

She said she healed it by the laying on of hands. See, I told you she was big on The Lord.

Now, there are two good things about this. First of all, if she was joking, for I didn't see what she did back there, that proves that even though she's big on TL, she still has a sense of humor about it. And second, if she wasn't joking, for again, I didn't see what she did back there, then, well - WOW. That's something else. She can fix all kinds of things in our office now. And make people happy that are disgruntled, and maybe even get me a raise.

But I'm still blogstipated. But I'm working on it. And come to think of it, it did come on rather suddenly, so I guess while one doesn't necessarily get a sudden attack of constipation, blogstipation can come on as quickly as a coronary. If they make a brain version of Haley's M-O, I'll drink a few swigs and see what happens.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* This week's edition of the Hucklebug is up and running! Go here to hear Stennie and I yuk it up, or subscribe through iTunes.
* What an odd thing it is when you can't even find the time to watch a movie. I've got two at the ready, and just can't get to them. Dammit.
* By the way, for those of you wondering, Tempie is actually doing a very good job, and San is back at home after her surgery.