Shoot, Fudge, And Help My Time Of Day (Another Lunchtime Blog)

I never learn, do I?

Anyway, big news on the TheCompanyIWorkFor front, well, it's big news to you, I've known about it for weeks, my friend and workmate San is about to have surgery. She's having a knee replacement, and will be off work for an astounding five weeks. That would normally leave only two people in our normally four-person office, which has become a stressful three-person office for some months now, and so to keep the both of us left from possible dual nervous breakdowns, the boss has decided to hire a temp for the time San will be out of commission.

Which is fine, I've never worked with a temp before, but I always figured, hey, if I don't like it, how long can it last? And for this case, I already have my answer, an astounding five weeks.

Our temp, who'll be starting Monday, came this morning and had a long meeting with the boss, they talked about what her duties would be and all that, I met her briefly, and that was that. Well, kind of. You see, I could hear, due to the fact that my boss is so loud you can't not hear, most of the conversation, and here's something I found out about my new workmate, at least for the next astounding five weeks.

She's big on The Lord.

She's so big on The Lord that she mentioned "her church" in nearly every sentence she uttered. She's so big on The Lord that she's building her own church, she and her husband, and let me tell you, this has me a little worried. Because in my experience, people who build their own churches, well, they're big on The Lord and no mistake, but they're also kind of rabid about it all. And this scares me just the littlest bit, for two reasons. The first is because though I respect anyone who has a strong religious ethic, I'd prefer it if they not pound me over the head with it.

And the second is because, as you all well know, I like to cuss.

Sometimes I wish I didn't, and I certainly know when to choose my cusses and the times they're sworn, but our office is very intimate and the three of us workers all know each other incredibly well, and we can all cuss up a blue streak if the situation calls for it. And believe me, nothing calls out for a good oath like a busy or frustrating day there at TheCompanyIWorkFor. And now I'm going to have to rein myself in.

I've already made a short list of things I need to nix from my vocabulary.

Fuck
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck
Fuck a doodle doo
Fuck this phone
Fuck this phone right in the eye
Absofuckinlutely
Piss
Pissin'
Shit, shit a brick, and shit-fire
Holy shit
We're all going to hell in a shitbucket (which will not only be inappropriate, but also now not true)
Dammit to hell
Goddammit all to hell
Holy Jesus
Jesus Christ
Jesus H Christ
Jesus H Christ in a chicken basket
Christ on a bike
Well, fuck me
Fuck him
Fuck him and the horse he rode in on
Fuck my hat

I'm hoping I can keep "what a bastard," but I'll try to say it under my breath.

Jesus H Christ in a chicken basket, am I going to miss San.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Well, I'm lit again. As of yesterday, because the gas company changed my meter while I was at work, I had no pilot light and therefore no hot water, and had to go to Granny & Paw's for a shower this morning. So my lunchtime was taken up by the gas man, then by a town official who wanted to talk to me about rezoning where I live. He told me he'd keep it short, but have you ever met a town official who could keep it short? I have an undrunk Orange Crapius and uneaten lunch and it's time to go back. I wonder sometimes why I bother.
* Anyway, I'm going to see the Hackensaw Boys again tonight, which should significantly lighten my mood.