Tuesday, September 26, 2006

At The Pod

Here I sit on a Tuesday night with nothing to blog about. I'd thought about waxing poetic with my thoughts on how reality TV seems to be all I watch on The Set lately, but once I'd come up with my blog title, "Dancing With The Amazing Wife Swapping Survivor Idols On The Runway Wondering What Not To Wear While Looking For Cash In My Attic," I realized that nothing I could write would ever live up to it. So I crossed that off my list. I don't watch some of those shows either, so even the title was a bit of a lie.

Then I thought I'd write about walking tonight in too-big pants I was afraid were going to fall off, but two things conspired against me. 1) They didn't fall off, and 2) The only thing more boring than walking is reading someone's blog about walking. No walking blog tonight.

OK, so I washed my dirndl but can't try it on to see if it shrunk until it's dry, so that's out for tonight. And I made tuna salad for dinner, not one of your more riveting kitchen tales. A squirrel hopped through my yard tonight, but I can't really expound upon that much, and even the neighbor's cat who seems to think he lives at my house was tucked neatly on his own back porch this evening.

Then I realized that I haven't told you lately what's going on at the Pod. With The Boys.

It's fall now, you know, and Sherman has started another semester of school. He homeschools with Peabody, normally I'm not the fan of homeschooling but it seems to work with Sherman. It's a very free-form type of education he gets with Mr P, studying some days, gardening other days (earth science), and traveling in the WABAC yet others (history).

This semester's subjects also include algebra, music appreciation, art, and composition, in which Sherman will be required to write a research paper.

Of course, this being Oktoberfest time, Sherman is very excited to be playing in the Sauerkraut Band up on the mountain with us again this year, in his lederhosen. He's quite the entertainer, and can even tap dance while playing "The Clarinet Polka."

Mr Peabody, besides being teacher to Sherman, of course, is also a member of the Sauerkraut Band and has been playing with us at Oktoberfest. He plays the euphonium (not as spectacularly as you'd expect from P, but he tries very hard). However, the big news in Peabody-land is that he's made the announcement it's about time he learned to play the clarinet. I'm thinking his reasoning on this was, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," as Sherman, Mr M, and I all play.

Other than that, Peabody's spare time activities include reading the complete works of Shakespeare in Swahili and doing Tai Chi every morning.

Huckleberry Hound is doing well these days. He had a particularly rough summer, as he was learning to sit in a boat. See, in case you didn't realize it, Huckie is a blue dog. Blue dogs are seriously prone to motion sickness, but Huck had promised Sherman that the two would take a ride together in Sherman's new boat. However, every time Huckie got near the vessel, the sickness would begin. But he soldiered on and actually got to the point where he could sit inside the boat while it was sitting atop my stereo. The boat hasn't made it to the creek in my back yard yet, or even to my back yard, and Huck's progress was undermined the night he was practicing sitting in the boat, and out of kindness and as a reward, Sherman gave him a chili dog. It wasn't pretty.

Will the boat trip ever take place? I do not know. I do know, though, that Huckie has expressed an interest in coming to see his compatriots Sherman and Peabody at Oktoberfest this season. I think he'd enjoy himself if he could make the trip up and down the mountain. The roads are extremely curvy, and frankly, I don't look forward to cleaning up my car after that road, a German buffet, and a couple of beers.

Besides sitting in the boat, Huckleberry enjoys reading the Birmingham, Alabama newspapers, following baseball, and breaking in his new anti-flea bowtie.

Now, I know you all worry about my friend Mr Peanut. Mr Peanut's walking the straight line of sobriety. He's done well with this, even toasting me with his lemonade while I'm hoisting the odd martini. However, there's an underlying sadness to Mr Peanut. He's not quite the same bon vivant he was when he first came to live with me. He's more settled now. And no, he still pays me no room or board money, but he also doesn't ride around with me in podmobile2 anymore, so gas money's not an issue.

The most emotion I've seen from Mr Peanut, in fact, in the past year was only last week, when I came home with a generic brand unsalted peanut. I told him that there were no Planter's unsalted nuts in the store but it didn't seem to help, and he kept mentioning his confusion that I didn't come to him and ask for a shipment to be sent to me. I should have done it. God knows he owes me. If I can't get it in cash, maybe I can get it in unsalted peanuts.

I need to be nicer to Mr Peanut, lest he go back to the bottle. Anyway, he spends his leisure time reading stories to Good Luck Baby Lily, shining his shoes, and watching Dr Phil.

Good Luck Baby Lily still has a hole in her midsection, and other than the slip in falling short helping Kellie with a special good luck need earlier in the year, still performs her magic. She's not in school yet, but she hangs around with Sherman when he's in homeschool, and likes to draw and color. She wants to learn to read "Where The Wild Things Are," her favorite book, and also wants to meet its hero Max in person.

Lily also likes to crawl a lot, for some reason, and asked me if I would look online for a ½-inch jumper for her to cover the hole in her midsection.

Gossamer the monster burps, plays hide and seek with Sherman, and has either eaten or chewed a hole in practically everything I own. Including Good Luck Baby Lily.

And that's my letter from the Pod.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners! So, just how did you lose your spleen?
- Honorable Mention goes to LilyG, whose midsection is magnificent, with her "Left Romania lacking various anatomical necessities."
- Runner-up goes to DeepFatFriar, with his "Like Ronald lost virginity: amyl nitrates." And a few others, I daresay.
- And this week's winner goes to Michelle the Dishy, with her "Lightning rod lodged vaginally, anally - nightmarish!" Nightmarish? I can only imagine.
- I can't believe with a V in there no one used "vent!" That's what a spleen does! It vents!
- Thanks to all who played, you've all done very well!

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"ISSUE"???????? "ISSUE"!!!!!!!!!!!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Issue with *what*, capt. a?

Thank you Bester, I feel very accomplished because of that win.

What exactly does the spleen do? I thought it filtered rather than vented. Maybe you could write a blog about the spleen?

You know, Victor Hugo wrote a poem about the Spleen. I don't remember much about it, I just remember thinking it was an odd thing to be poetic about.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Flipsycab said...

Mint is good for settling an upset stomach. Maybe Huckleberry can try some peppermint tea, or even a mint julip?

Mr. Peanut has got to pull on through...or is that push on through? Break on through to the othersied? Regardless, he will see that sober life can be quite interesting. At times. When you can stand it.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Liane Gentry Skye said...

Chamomile. I swear by it. Especially laced with rum. And honey. And two or three xanax. He'll be good as new. :)

9:50 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home