And Now A Word From Our Sponsors

Ahhh, yes, it's that time again. Betland delves into the world of TV commercials.

And yes, as always, I generally despise TV commercials. However, there are the few that make me giggle, or tug at my heartstrings, or just have weird characters I think about way too often. God, how I miss the Elidel man. Remember him? A little computer animated superhero who looked like the offspring of Buzz Lightyear and Elvis Costello? ("Elidel. That's El - Ih - Del.") He hovered in mid-air, and yet, still walked upright there in mid-air. I loved that little guy.

However, someone has flown in to try and take his place. Superhero? Well, not in my book. Nasonex, the "helps you breathe" medicine, has given us all the Nasonex Bee. He's also computer animated, and flies around in the air, but walks on none of his six little legs. I'm supposing he has six, I haven't really counted. I haven't counted his bee legs, nor have I really heard anything he's said. I'm supposing it's, "Spray this stuff up your nose and let the good times roll" or something, but the reason I can't seem to be getting his message is because - no, I'm not lying, and yes, if you've seen it you know what I'm about to say - this bee has a Spanish accent.

The Nasonex Bee is Antonio Banderas!

Well, I guess he isn't, really, and he doesn't look like the bee pictured here. And he certainly doesn't wave a gun, though he is a drug pusher of sorts. I just imagine him to be the Antonio Banderas circa "And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself" type of bee.

Anyway, he's OK, as bees go, gun or no gun, and I certainly understand the whole Bee Thing, stuffy noses and pollen, but why does he have to have that accent? Is he one of those Killer Bees heading our way from Mexico? Or is he just like Mirna and Charla from "The Amazing Race," who go to foreign countries and speak to the natives there in badly accented English, thinking this will make them better understood.

No matter, let's continue.

I will now readily admit to being totally in love with the Rozeram commercials. They're the tranquilizer commercials who tell all us insomniacs, "Your dreams miss you." And we see one poor soul whose dreams miss him, and they confront him about the whole mess right there in the guy's kitchen. Abraham Lincoln's there, as well as an astronaut and a rather grouchy talking groundhog. I don't know what this guy eats before he goes to bed, but those are some interesting dreams, because apparently they all play chess together ("Abe cheats," Mr Groundhog says, and I don't believe that for a minute), and the astronaut's fixing something to eat, and the groundhog's chowing down on either pancakes or French toast, I can't tell.

I'm crazy about the whole idea of this, and I love that surly groundhog. This is not him, by the way, this is Herschel. Herschel is the groundhog who lives in a hole in Mr M's backyard, and used to come up onto his deck when we played clarinet duets. The DeepFatFriar got this photo of him enjoying a tune. Sherman and Herschel are great friends, and though I haven't seen Herschel in a long time, Mr M swears to me he's still there in backyard. I don't know if I believe him or not. I get a little hinky about these things, you know.

Anyway, just as I was grooving on this commercial with the astronaut and Abe and the groundhog in the kitchen, a couple more commercials started showing on my TeeVee. Suddenly the astronaut was out of the picture, apparently poor Mr Insomniac cut out the pepperoni and anchovies on his midnight pizza, but Abe and the groundhog are still there, and they confront a sleepy Mr Insomniac at the bus stop. There's also one where Abe and Mr Groundhog are in an office space playing paper football at a desk, and it borders on the bizarre, but I guess maybe that's where they wait to be summoned into dreamland. One of these ads, I guess it's the bus stop one, features an ending that's quite cute, where Mr Insomniac is speaking to his co-worker, we'll call her Ms Insomniac, and we'll do that because she's being followed by a little blue pony as she walks away.

You know, I don't sleep much, and I'm just waiting for my dreams to confront me. I don't remember a lot of my dreams, and I'd like to see what some of them are.

As you all know, because I often tell you, I'm a grown woman, allowed to go out by myself and vote and everything. However, sometimes I sit in front of my television set and blubber like a baby at commercials. This isn't the kind of thing I'm particularly proud of, but it happens. And the latest series of commercials that have me running for my tissues are for Pedigree doggie chow. If you haven't seen them, I'll tell you about them, but I'll wait a few seconds while you run and get some tissues for your own self.

Okay.

Pedigree is embarking on a public service endeavor where they're trying to get dogless doggie lovers like me to adopt. And their new commercials show various dogs, with their big, wet, sad, doggie eyes, looking out at us from behind cages in various animal shelters. And the voiceover says, "I know how to sit, how to fetch, and how to roll over. What I don't know is how I ended up here." Then Pedigree gives its little talk to us, and the commercial ends with the voiceover saying, "I just want to go home."

Well, I can't tell you exactly what this does to me. I could try, but it would be pointless.

And just when I was getting over the fact that I was going to have to buy a new box of tissues for the Poderosa, I'll be damned if Pedigree didn't release a follow-up commercial. It features Oliver. This is Oliver, brave Oliver, who was one of those original pound puppies, but guess what. He got to go home! They show Oliver being picked out by his new human, and then they show how great Oliver's life has become.

Oliver's happy now! So where does that leave me? There in front of my set, blubbering like a damn baby again. Sweet, valiant Oliver, happy in his new home. *sniff.*

Wonder if I dream about Oliver, he'll come to see me? I'll fix him pancakes and French toast.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners! So, tell me about Exercise.
- Honorable Mention goes to Duke, with his, "And your pink potato dish is still creepy." OK, that wasn't really an acro entry, it was just a comment. But I needed a third place.
- Runner-Up goes to Flipsycab, with her, "Fulfilling: pilates, yoga. Hard: jousting." Yep, jousting is definitely hard. Especially if you're on the business end of that pole.
- And this week's winner goes to LilyG, with her, "Fat? Pallid? You hate jogging." I am! And I do!
- Thanks to all who played (and the one who didn't). You've all done very well!