A Random List of Things Not of Particular Interest To Anyone, Not Even Me, Save for the Last One

* Friday seems to have become "White Pants Day" in my world. I haven't really planned it, well, not till now, but every Friday for the last four or five weeks, I've worn a work ensemble that includes the same white pants. Now I can't stop. I might disappoint people.

* Ever since a client of ours who was wounded in Iraq was telling us about his lack of health insurance, we've been playing a little game in our office. What should we do with W, Cheney, and Rummy? Ideas have run the gamut from the obvious "drop them all in Iraq without so much as a pocket knife," to "turn them over to Michael Vick to be doused, electrocuted, then pitted in a caged deathmatch," to "send them up in the shuttle with drunken astronauts," to "dip them in molasses and roll them in ants," to "force them to pay for their own colonoscopies and pacemaker battery changes," to "have their motorcade commandeered by Lindsay Lohan."

* There is a house I pass every day on my way to work and back, and the lady who lives there has plastic flowers in her yard. She has actually planted, in the ground, plastic flowers. And I have to see that every day.

* I've mentioned many times how I think celebrities are terribly stupid. This mainly comes from watching "Celebrity Jeopardy," and, well, reading the headlines. But after watching "Celebrity Jeopardy" this week, it finally came to me why I'm left screaming at my television. It's not so much the stupidity, well, it is to a certain extent because celebrities don't know things your average everyday Joe does, like what a Subaru Tribecca is or that there was a book called "The Da Vinci Code," but it's because they're so damn slow! They don't realize that time is a factor in playing the game. They just ring in, look around, fumble, hem, haw, and then the buzzer sounds and they lose money. This is why during "Celebrity Jeopardy," half the answers are still on the board when a round ends. However, during the interview segment when they talk about themselves, they're very eloquent.

* I finally saw that Levitra commercial I blogged about a couple of weeks ago, and paid enough attention to see what golf magazine contained their ad. Imagine my shock and horror when I discovered it wasn't a golf magazine at all. It was This Old House magazine. I'm sure there's a really dirty joke in there somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can find it.

* And may I just add to that that the new commercial for Viagra, where a bunch of middle-aged men have formed a band and are playing in some abandoned roadhouse, singing about how they all have erectile dysfunction to the tune of "Viva Las Vegas," is about the most sickening thing I've seen on television in years.

* Today I was paying my water bill, and noticed it was over double the amount it was last time. I couldn't imagine that much of a rate change, so I waited until lunch, got in my car, and checked my last month's receipt. These receipts stay clipped in my sun visor because I put the bill there and forget about it and drive around for two weeks with it until I remember to pay it. Anyway, when I looked at last months receipts, I was shown as using about 3700 gallons of water.

This month, it was 9700.

Almost 10,000 gallons of water!

I'm clean, but I'm not that clean. And so when I got back from lunch I started calling the treasurer's office, and having tete a tetes with Barbara, who was a very nice lady but even so, she still tried to convince me that a five-day vacation by the meter reader caused a 6000-gallon increase in my water usage. Then she got to looking and realized that my water meter had been checked twice last month, because the first reading was so out of order it necessitated the second. She sent someone over again.

Again, it was high, and "the meter was running." Apparently "the meter is running" means the same thing in the water world as it does in the taxi world. Water's gushing into my lines and I'm getting charged.

So, where's it going? I know not. I have no leaky faucets, nothing's wet in my yard or floor. But it's going somewhere, and frankly, I'm just the tiniest bit worried about what's ahead. I would be majorly worried, but I figure at this point it's done, the water's going somewhere, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

The water men come to my house tomorrow to do a little digging. I hope a little is all that's required, because I don't have the money right now to start putting new water lines into my property.

Ahhhh, how I do love the Poderosa. (You know, it's been over a year since anything happened here, I should be grateful.)

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners. Well, we have two. Even with an extra day, no one wanted to tell me what they saw on vacation.
- Runner-Up goes to the DeepFatFriar, with his "Risen Christ Jesus riding Siberian antelope."
- And this week's winner goes to LilyG, with her, "Royal Canadian Jesuits -- red sashes, Amen."
- Thanks to all who played - you've all done very well!