Welcome Back My Friends, To The Show That Never Ends - The Fifth Great CD Mix Exchange!

Hello, music lovers.

When last I left you, I was running around like crazy (still am), not smoking (still am not), and making CDs for the Fifth Great CD Mix Exchange. I got those made and in the mail, so I guess all that's left at this point is to publish my song list and let the good times roll.

Speaking of good times, be they rolling or in a distinct holding pattern, I'm still the recipient of only three CDs. It's a weird world, the mail. I got my first two on Tuesday. Tuesday, one day after the mailing date. One CD was from Duke, and I can understand that, as he's probably the closest to me in area, but the other was from Mike the Blogless. He lives a whole country away! He clings to the opposite coast over there!

Then today I received Stennie's CD. This is odd, simply because we always thought we had this super-duper divinely blessed mail karma wherein we put an item into a mailbox and Acme takes over and it's delivered in 45 seconds. Or less! 45 seconds or less, or your money back. I have my Stennie CD now, but it is Friday, and I'm asking Acme for my refund.

Anyway, as always, and this is why as much as I bitch and piss and moan about doing the CD Exchange I never fail to sign up, it's a blast listening to other people's music and hoping to get some feedback as to what they think about yours.

Mike had several goodies, two in particular, and one in very particular, which I'm now touting to anyone who'll listen as my New Favorite Song (it's his #5, for anyone who's participating in the Exchange). Duke had an array of music as interesting as I've found Duke to be in the short time I've known him, and I can't wait to see his song list, because there's an instrumental on there I know and cannot place to save my soul. Is it Bela Fleck? Is it, Duke? Stennie's #5 also rocked, and though her #1 was a very familiar tune from way back, it was a great way to start of a CD Mix. Oh, and her #11 was very fun indeed.

The #12 songs, though? Oh, dear. The infamous #12 song was "A Song Everyone Hates But You," and man, did people take that one to heart. I won't say anything to spoil it for anyone who's participating in the Exchange and may not have their CDs yet, but boy, I haven't heard such crap since, well, I guess since recording my very own #12 song.

But I'm rambling here. And it's not fair to ramble when I have five more CDs winging their ways to me. Yes, five more crapoid #12 songs to snicker about! So without further ado, and if you're in the Exchange and haven't gotten a CD from me yet, you may want to look away till it arrives, here are my picks for CD Mix Exhange 5.

1. A song with the same title as Track 18. In other words, two completely different songs with the same title. "That's Entertainment," from the movie "The Bandwagon." Though actually, I first knew this song from the movie, "That's Entertainment," the compilation film that pretty much made an old movie lover of me. I was 14, if I'm not mistaken. But of course, you're made an old movie lover, and you see the original source, "The Bandwagon," which has the best, happiest, and most emphatically positive song about shined shoes I've ever heard in my life.

2. A song about the moon. "Spaceman," Harry Nilsson. I spent a goodly amount of time looking for songs with "moon" in the title, and all of a sudden, during a random iTunes run through, I saw this one. This fun 3 minute little pop song may tell the story of a rather unfortunate fellow, but it also makes me giggle. You know, we Americans, with our short attention spans. Get all excited about sending men to the moon, then once they're up there, we forget about them. "Oh, there are still some up there?" Hey, who knows, there may be some still up there.

3. A song about an article of clothing. "New Shoes," Paolo Nutini. This is a very catchy little number, good for you Paolo, because everything else I've heard by you, I've roundly disliked. You got one right, though. However, not good on you, because I've now heard this catchy little number in not one, but two television commercials. Bad Paolo. And let's add to this the fact that, as I said on my CD insert, I totally disagree with this song. I'm definitely an Old Shoe Person.

4. A song about one of the seasons. "Springtime for Hitler," from the movie "The Producers." As I was juggling happy summer songs and depressing winter songs, this title popped into my head from nowhere. (Wait, that's the next entry.) I knew I had it on vinyl, and only balked at the idea of using it for about a half-second. It's one of those life markers, seeing the "Springtime for Hitler" scene for the very first time.

5. Title out of nowhere. A song whose title is mentioned nowhere in the lyrics of the song. "FDR," the Hackensaw Boys. Yeah, like I was going to leave them out. Actually, this was the first song I picked when I did my preliminary reading of the song list. This rollicking ode of Hurricane Katrina and what happened in the months after - or, well, didn't happen - mentions no hurricanes, no Katrinas, no FDRs, no Bushs, nor anything else. Just some people trying to survive.

6. Spell it out - song that includes spelling in its lyrics. "Ragg Mopp," the Ames Brothers. I resisted the urge to use the definitive spelling song of all time, "Gloria," or the parody of the very song I used, "Ratt Fink." My ipod loves this song. It comes up on just about every shuffle. I'm not sure exactly why a song needed to be written about a ragg mopp, but one was, dammit, and the world is a better place because of it.

7. A song from 2007. "All My Friends (Have Been Born Again)," the Beagle Brothers. I discovered these guys when they were supporting the Hackensaws last month. They were incredibly fun, and this was my favorite song they did. I guess the only thing sadder than the guy who's left behind because all his hell-raising buddies got married is the guy left behind because all his hell-raising buddies got religion. I mean, marriages can always bust up.

8. A song that says goodbye. "When I'm On My Journey," the Babysitters. Featuring not only no less a person than Alan F Arkin himself, but no less a person's son than Adam Arkin himself. You knew it was coming, stop making faces. I like this one because it's not only saying goodbye as in dying, it's saying goodbye as in growing up, too. Yes, it's all part of life's great cycle.

9. A song that reminds you of home. "King of the Mountain," Southern Culture on the Skids. OK, so I'm not a hillbilly pornographer, nor do I know any. But I chose this song because I do know my share of moonshine makers, tanning bed operators, and self-styled "Blue Ridge businessmen." My sister and I often have a knowing wink to each other where SCOTS are concerned. People listen to their songs and giggle because of funny people and absurd situations. We listen and giggle because we live around here - they basically sing our life.

10. A song that makes you sad. "Give Me Love," George Harrison. An alternate for the "song that makes you cry" track on a prior Exchange, this song just really wrenches my heart for some reason. Even more so now that George is no longer with us. Every time he sings, "Give me hope, help me cope with this heavy load," I go all teary-eyed.

11. A psycho song - mentions crazy, nuts, mad, loony, or anything else in the title. "Crazy Over You," Jools Holland. I've always loved this boogie-woogie number. It had a very interesting video, too. It was filmed in a men's public toilet in London. And there's a point during the video where some poor unsuspecting soul actually goes in to use the men's public toilet. And is met with Jools dancing around in a suit, a guy in a coonskin cap laying in the floor with a bass fiddle on top of him, dancing girls.... I don't know, it was just funny.

12. Song everyone hates but you. "Shiny Shiny," Hayzee Fantayzee. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm embarrassed. This song was circa 1984, was some piece of studio-created tripe, was supposed to be "The World's Gonna Nuclearly Explode" edgy, wasn't even done by a band (I think the girl was a model of no fixed hairstyle), and it's an awful song. Dubs, fiddles, embarrassing lyrics. And it hooked me. It's catchy, and it makes me smile. So there. But go ahead and hate it, it won't hurt my feelings a bit.

13. Song whose title is a four-letter word. "Ouch," the Rutles. Ahhhh, the Rutles. The Pre-fab Four. The Rutles were, of course, the Python/George Harrison created parody of the Beatles, and appeared in a TV movie more years ago than I'd care to remember, "All You Need Is Cash." "Ouch" was from the film of the same name, the Rutles' second movie, the follow-up to "A Hard Day's Rut." The Rutles were Dirk, Stig, Barry, and Nasty. After their break-up, they all went on to have solo careers, including Barry's solo album, "When You Find The Girl of Your Dreams in the Arms of Some Scotsmen From Hull." The trivia I remember. Sad, really.

14. Song that says "Thank You." "Decatur," Sufjan Stevens. "Our stepmom, we did everything to hate her, she took us down to the edge of Decatur" begins this tale, then goes on to describe all the great things that happened. Then it all ends up with the lines, "Why did we hate her?" and "Stand up and thank her." I love the idea of the eager stepmom taking her husband's kids on an outing, and them trying their best to have a rotten time. And now, all these years later, they can admit it was a blast.

15. Song that should have been playing when you were born. "Brilliant Mistake," Elvis Costello. I don't know, I just thought it was the perfect song title to fit in this slot. I wasn't a mistake in the "oops" sense of the word, thank you very much, I was actually a make-up baby after my mom's first attempt at a second child failed. But let's go abstract, and forget the knee-slapping use of the title - it could be for parents who welcome a baby girl into the world in 1960, and think she'll be sugar and spice and all things nice, snag a good husband, bring grandchildren galore back to the fold. The song's chorus says it all: "It was a fine idea at the time, now it's a brilliant mistake."

16. Kickass cover song redux. A cover song of an original you used somewhere on another CD Mix Exchange. "Action Packed," Jonathan Richman. I had a very tough time finding something for this one, because I use so many damn covers! I went back through all my old Mix Exchange CDs, and everything was a cover song! I went back all the way to CD #1, though, for this one. I'd had it in mind fairly early on into the mix, and the only thing holding me back was that as much as I love the song "Action Packed" (heah me? Action Packed!) by Ronnie Dee (heah me? Ronnie Dee!), and as much as everyone else who hears it seems to love it, and as amazing as it is that there's even a cover of this song (heah me? Amazing!), the cover itself isn't really much. Sorry, Jonathan, you're a great guy, but there's just no beating the original. (Heah me? No beating the original.)

17. Song about the sun. "Steal My Sunshine," Len. This is a one-hit wonder of no repute from about eight or ten years ago, but I've always found it very catchy. It first came to mind for the Exchange because it spells, well, a bit, "L-A-T-E-R that week." I had better spelling songs, but then realized it was a sun song! And I was glad, because I was starting to feel like Stennie on a previous Mix. "Damn, there aren't any songs about the sun!" Hers, sadly, was, "Damn! There aren't any songs about cheating!" Happily, we both got over it.

18. Song with the same title as #1. "That's Entertainment," the Jam. Back in the late 70s/early 80s, the Jam were a real hit and miss band for me. I either found them brilliant or boring. This one's brilliant. Yep, it's entertainment, all right. But instead of the entertainment of Track One, "The clown with his pants falling down, the dance that's a dream of romance, the scene where the villain is mean," the Jam's, "Electric drill and a ripped out phone booth, paint splattered walls and the cry of a tomcat, lights going out and a kick in the balls" is followed by a sardonic refrain of, "That's entertainment." Not boring. Brilliant.

19. Amnesty song - song you've wanted to use on this or any other CD Mix Exchange and it just didn't fit. "I Love Onions," Susan Christie. OK, sit back, blogees, I'll end the list and the blog with a story. I've known "I Love Onions" since it came out in the mid 60s. My cousin Jacob had the single, my cool aunt (Jacob's mom) Nadine probably got it for her, and we used to play that record over and over and laugh our heads off. We were the only three people I ever knew of who had ever even heard the song. Cut to some 35 years later when one day, out of the blue, Mike the Blogless is in poundsqueeze chat with me and mentions "I Love Onions." It normally never surprises me when he knows some obscure song, I mean, hell, he owns every record ever pressed, but to discover a fourth person who knew "I Love Onions?" Amazing. He later sent me an mp3 of it, and it became an alternate for a "song about food" on the last Mix Exchange. Southern Culture on the Skids' "Banana Puddin'" beat it out, but here's my big chance to share "I Love Onions" with the world. The spoken word section in the middle is an added attraction. And Stennie's right. There need to be more kazoos in modern music.

So there you have it. The Fifth CD Mix Exchange completed.

I'm going to rest now - I'm tired. Oktoberfest is kicking my ass. With a steel-toed boot.