(A day on which your humble blogger turns over the reins to the erudite Mr Peanut.)

You Too Can Be Well-Mannered!

Hello, readers. Mr Peanut here. And how are you this evening?

You see, it's very important when addressing someone to inquire how they are doing. This shows interest in your friend or acquaintance.

I feel it takes little time or effort to be polite. Manners seem to have gotten lost along the way nowadays, and so I thought I'd use this small space Bet gave me to pass along a few helpful hints to make you a more civilized citizen.

Let's begin.

Since this is the cold and flu season, I thought you should know that if you must cough or sneeze in public, you should do so into your left hand, if you are right-handed. This leaves your right hand clean to shake hands and open doors, especially for a lovely person of the female persuasion. It is also quite kind to say, "Excuse me" after sneezing in public.

Now, let's go to a subject very near and dear to my hostess Bet's heart. Hats. When should a gentleman remove his hat? Bet says a man should remove his hat anytime he is indoors. She is adamant about that. And while that would certainly be polite, the true rule of etiquette is that a man should remove his hat when entering a house, restaurant, church, or theatre. I would like to side with Bet, however, and stress to all you gentlemen, young and old, that a baseball hat is a hat like any other and should be removed.

Speaking of my friend Bet, I think it important for me to move to the subject of compliments. When one is complimented by another, it is not polite to deny the compliment. Simply say thank you and move on. No one wants to compliment another, then have to defend the compliment.

Here's a rule of thumb for a very modern problem. Cell phones. Of course cell phones are useful, but please, always excuse yourself when using a cell phone. Go to a private area to receive or make your cell phone call, please.

Another modern wonder is the caller ID. Please remember, when checking the number, to simply answer the phone with, "Hello," and not, "Hello, Mr Smith," "Hi, Bob," or worse, "Yo, homey." This is very bad etiquette.

I'm often asked, "Mr Peanut, when I go to visit another's house, is it customary for me to take a gift?" I always take a gift when visiting, a nice assortment of peanuts and peanut-related items, and this is proper. Something small for the home would be fine.

However, when attending a party at another's house for an occasion, if the invitation includes the phrase "no gifts, please," do not take a gift. It is rude to ignore a request from your host.

I'm very happy that in Sherman's blog of Tuesday, he mentioned that after Friday Night Tag we all congratulate the winner before we celebrate with pizza. When competing in a sporting event or game, it is always appropriate to congratulate the winner, and tell the other participants it was a pleasure to play with them.

Here's an interesting tidbit. In these days of gender roles, people often wonder who pays having dinner out with a friend. Actually, the person who extended the invitation should pay the bill, regardless of sex. That means, regardless of whether the person who extends the invitation is male or female. It doesn't mean whether or not there is sexual contact.

An interesting fact for you homeowners. I have a friend who owns a lavish apartment in New York City, and every time I visit, I'm asked to remove my shoes. This is quite cumbersome for me, as I have to remove both shoes and spats. This is not proper etiquette. It is never polite to ask visitors to your house to remove their shoes, no matter how clean you'd like your carpet to remain.

And so I will leave it for there. You know, most good manners are simply common sense. Just remember to treat others the way you would like to be treated. Think of others, and good manners will follow.

Until next time, love and legumes.

Yours truly,

Mr Peanut, esq.

Mr Peanut's Olympic Update:
* Always remember, please and thank you cost nothing, yet mean so much.
* Also please remember that my hat is part of my being, and therefore I cannot remove it in Bet's house, as you can see in the picture above. I have apologized and explained this to her, though, and we've come to an understanding.