Water Water, pt 2

Hello, friends.

When last I left you, I was wrangling with the town, speaking to my old friend Barbara at the water office, and hoping I'd get a new water meter. Remember that my water usage flew from about 3000 to 9000 gallons in one month, then began to vary with great degree, and I was about to get really, really hinky.

When last week's Water Water installment ended, I was told I probably wouldn't get a new meter, because apparently such a jump just isn't bizarre enough to warrant one, but Barbara was printing out my water history and sending it to the Man In Charge.

Cut to Wednesday morning last. I woke up, not to my normal two alarms, but to noise outside my bedroom window. I got up, turned off the still-sleeping alarms, and sat up. I could see the welcome blinking yellow light of a town truck. I ran to the window like a kid running to the tree on Christmas morning. I was getting a new meter!

I was late to work that morning, owing to the fact that the water was off for about an hour at my house. But I putzed around doing what I could before showering, and finally the truck meandered off, without nary a town yoo-hoo coming to my door to tell me what was done. When I got to work, I sat down and phoned Barbara.

Here's what I found out. I didn't get a new meter. Instead, these town yoo-hoos did what I'd also asked Barbara to have them do from the beginning of this whole debacle, to dig around the meter to see if there was a leak somewhere on their side. Remember, they'd done this before, and found a leak, fixed it, and all was well till this last flare-up. And so Barbara went on to happily tell me that they'd dug, found a leak between where their meter connects to my line, fixed it, the meter was now not running (a good thing in the Water World), all was well, and Barbara herself was in the process of adjusting my water bill.

But then I had to go and open my big mouth.

I asked Barbara about a pressure reducing valve. See, about a year ago the town put all new lines through the city limits, and it apparently raised the water pressure a good deal. So they were offering, at a nominal fee, a pressure reducing valve to attach to your own personal water line to, well, to reduce pressure. I didn't go for one, I'm not sure why, but I didn't. And after all this, I started to wonder if maybe I should have taken a valve.

When I asked Barbara if the fact that I didn't get one of these valves could have caused two leaks at the meter, she said she didn't rightly know, but she didn't think it would. I asked if I could come and get a pressure reducing valve anyway, and she said no, because they were all out. There was a real run on them, and when they ran out that was it, they wouldn't order any more. She told me that I could buy my own and have a plumber install it, but before I did, maybe she should send someone out to check the water pressure at my house. Did I have an outside spigot? I sure did, I answered, and told her it was at the back of the house.

I hung up the phone happy, and with the slight possibility of being happier if I could find out whether I needed one of these valves.

Two hours later I received a phone call from Barbara. This phone call contained five curt pieces of news.

1. The yoo-hoos had come to my house to check my water pressure. It was 100 pounds, which is very high.
2. While the yoo-hoos were there, they heard water running behind the wall at the back of the house where the spigot was.
3. The yoo-hoos, because of this, checked the meter again. It was running again.
4. I did in fact have a leak, even though I didn't seem to have one two hours earlier.
5. Barbara had stopped the business of adjusting my water bill, because my problem was now no longer their problem.

Talk about going from the penthouse to the outhouse in the span of a morning.

When I went home for lunch, I turned off anything in my house that could have sound. It was a quiet shell. I started walking along the walls at the back of my house, and when I reached the laundry room, I heard it. Water was running. I continued into the bathroom and heard it there. Yes, for the first time, I heard a leak.

I went back to work from lunch and called my plumber. He was agog. Well, first of all, I have to report with a shock that still lingers, I was agog, because he actually picked up the phone. He was home, presumably not hanging upside down, and I didn't have to leave a message on the answering machine.

However, that all waned when he kept telling me there was no leak and nothing was wrong. This back and forth went on for some time, then he finally decided that if there was a leak, which there wasn't, it was in the toilet. I told him I didn't think so, that that wasn't where the water sound was coming from, but he insisted the toilet was all it could be. But the food coloring test, I protested. It passed the food coloring test. He told me to try another test. Turn the valve to the toilet off, take the top off the toilet, mark the water line with a pencil, wait at least two hours and more if possible, and see if the water went below the pencil line. I told him I'd give it a go.

And I did. And I knew that when I turned the toilet valve off and could still hear the sound of water running, it was going to be a big fat failure, and it was. After leaving the toilet overnight, the water had not moved even a smidge.

I told the plumber. He didn't believe it. He insisted it had to be in the toilet. He insisted right up to, but not past, the point of saying, "I'll be right over and look at it."

He promised to come over and look around again. That was Friday. He hasn't come yet.

I can still hear the water running. And my water bill rising.

Funny how I couldn't hear the water running before the town yoo-hoos showed up, huh.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners. So, please tell me, what did you do with Jesus.
- Honorable Mention goes to DeepFatFriar, with his, "Dined sumptuously down under the aquaduct."
- Runner-Up goes to Stennie, with her, "Didn't steal Don's underwear, that's all." (Sounds like Stennie's hiding something.)
- And this is a most amazing night. For the first time in history, and last time I'm sure, we have a three-way tie for the winning acro. Three entries were so clever, and me chuckle so hard, it's impossible to choose between them. They are, in order of arrival in the comments, the dishy Michelle's "Danced seductively down United's tarmac 'A'," LilyG's "Dropped stones directly upon the apostates," and Kellie (with an ie)'s "Discussed Sin, Dogma, Ultimate Truth, Aliens." Three massive acros!
- Thanks to all who played, you've all done very well!