Blogstipation!

Well, not really. Well, a little bit. I don't know.

When asked today, over the phone at work, how I was doing, I said, "Fine," but said it in such a way that the lady picked right up on it and answered, "Mmm hmm. You sound fine. Frustrated, Irritated, Neurotic, and Exhausted." She was right. Funny how she picked up on it and no one I sit in that office with has.

Anyway, I really need a vacation, and I finally scheduled one for the week of Sept 8. If I make it that long without my head blowing apart.

I had no intentions of blogging last night, sorry about that, but had a few tonight, only after an hour-long swim and a pitcher of martinis, those intentions went by the wayside about as quickly as you might imagine. I sat down for a little Olympics, and fell flat-ass asleep.

Anyway, speaking of swimming, I'll tell you a little something. I have a wonky ear.

Now, this isn't something that just cropped up. It's not sore, or injured. It's wonky, and I guess it always has been.

When ear bud headphones became all the rage, when people were first buying them to use with their mobile CD players, I wouldn't buy any. I couldn't help but think they'd be terribly uncomfortable and the sound wouldn't be as good as a nice, cushy, comfortable pair of headphones.

Then came that fateful day I got, and subsequently became engaged to, my iPod, and of course it came with the ear buds. And while I was very wrong about the sound, the sound's wonderful, I've always been frustrated with the fit.

Because the left ear bud is always either falling out, or on the verge of falling out, of my left ear.

I first noticed this while walking the track. I thought I was inserting it badly, or the wind was catching me as I rounded the turns, or, I don't know, I was sweating it out. But I was constantly fiddling with that left ear.

When I mow, I start out by putting in the ear buds, popping in the right, then fiddling like shit with the left and never having it comfortable. It stays like that during the entire mow, and when I take a drink break on the step of the dennette, I tend to wipe sweat and play with my left ear bud.

And when I swam last night, a light bulb went off over my head, which normally puts one at the risk of electrocution, I suppose, but I somehow escaped. I use earplugs when I swim, and there I was, sitting with my legs dangling over the pool, fiddling like shit with - my left earplug.

My left ear is just wonky! Nothing fits in it right!

I would look to see if it's misshapen somewhere around the ear hole, but that's not really something one can examine easily, even with a mirror. Maybe I'll take a close-up picture of it. There's a Picture Sunday blog not for the squeamish.

Now, I've used earplugs for years when swimming, and I guess I've always done a lot of fiddling, but I didn't really notice it till today, after the ear bud debacle. Maybe that's why I never wanted to try those in the first place, wanted to stick with nice, cushy, comfortable headphones.

The earplugs I wear when swimming are made by Speedo and therefore must be awfully trendy and possibly Olympicly-endorsed, but they're quite odd. They look like beehives and are tiny but football-shaped, with ridges in them to (I guess) keep them snug in the ear.

After slipping the right one in last night, and then jamming the left one in after much sturm and drang, I had a nice swim, then afterwards - couldn't dislodge the left one! It was stuck in there like nobody's business, and though I could probably accept that with the ear bud, at least I wouldn't have to constantly fiddle with it, with the earplug it was frustrating and, frankly, painful. It took a good two minutes of pulling to get it out.

And so I have a wonky ear. And a blog, I guess.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* It seems to be a consensus with me and my nearest and dearest that silver medal gymnast Jonathan Horton is a little cutie pie. He also should have been the gold medalist. More gymnastics cheating.
* Women's beach volleyball is finally over! Finally over! Of course it ended with the Americans winning, rolling around in the sand in their bikinis, hugging, and that's exactly what NBC had been waiting for all this Olympic time.
* My vote for best sport and nice person so far goes to hurdler Lolo Jones. She lead till the last hurdle, which she clipped, then tripped, finishing seventh. Knelt on the track for some time in stunnned disbelief, then got up, did an interview, was very kind and matter of fact in saying, "Hey it happens to everyone, and doesn't it just suck that it happened to me at the Olympics," then - interrupted her interview to hug and congratulate the silver medalist. I like her.
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners. So, what Olympic event will you be competing in?
- Bronze medal is a tie between Kellie (with an ie), with her "Nifty Evangelical Reasoning Award," and LilyG, with her "Norwegian Elk 'Rasslin. Absolutely."
- Silver medal is a tie between Duke, with his "Nanoscale Electronic Robot Archery," and DeepFatFriar, with his "Neo-Existential Retrograde Aquatics," in which I think they'd both probably win the gold medal.
- And this week's gold medal goes to Patrick (my little Patrick), with his "Noticing Englebert, Running Away." Perfect Olympic event. The field takes off from the start line, jogging in a straight line. At some point, Englebert Humperdinck shows up on the track, then all the entrants turn around and run, screaming, hands waving in the air, back to the start line. The one reaching the start line first is the winner
- Thanks to all who played. Now accept your medals and flowers, and stand for the national anthem from Patrickonia.