Political Ponderings, Including Why Sarah Palin Scares the Bejeesus Out of Me

Hello, voters. It's been a long day. It's been a long week. And it's been a long campaign period. Time for me to do another "preaching to the choir" blog.

Joe the Plumber:

I'm sick of Joe the Plumber. I was sick of him the night he appeared in name and story at the debate, I was more sick of him when the media found him and decided to tell us his life story, and at this point, I'm so sick of him I wish he'd pack up his plunger and move to Albania. I'm especially sick of the fact that John McCain, who, let's face it, has tried everything else, has now made everything about Joe the Plumber.

Here's my take on the whole J the P situation. I recently saw on television the whole Joe/Obama exchange. And to be perfectly honest, I thought Obama was in fine form. He was extremely honest. He looked Joe P right in the eye and said, "Listen, if you start making over $250,000, you're going to be taxed. You'll be taxed on the amount from $250,000 to what you actually make at the new tax rate, but yes, you'll have a higher tax rate."

For someone running for President, that's a pretty bold move. How easy would it have been for him to shake Joe's hand, hand him some political mumbo-jumbo inferring that he'd be safe in this new tax idea, flash a smile, and get the hell outta there. In fact, Obama told Mr Plumber, "I don't know if I'll get your vote now." I can't help but think had someone come up and asked McCain a difficult question, McCain would have shaken his hand and started shoveling the shit.

And as far as that dreaded phrase "spread the wealth?" Isn't that what taxes are? You make it, you pay it. It's not socialism. It's income tax. Get over it.

Get Your Stubby Fucking Fingers Out of My Face:

When exactly did John McCain decide that he needed to air quote every other word out of his mouth? I honestly didn't notice him even doing it until the last debate, when he did it enough times for me to want to break his arthritic little fingers. Had I only known.

Since then, the man can't say his own name without air quoting it. It's gotten way out of control, as if he's just learned how to do it and thinks it's the coolest thing since the peace sign. I saw a clip of him in a diner surrounded by his ever-present "Joe the Plumbers" (you know, Andrea the Teacher, Doug the Driver, Curtis the Guy His Party Hired to Stand There Looking Concerned), and every other fucking word he said was air quoted!

I'm waiting for him to say, "And you should 'vote' for 'me,' because I'm the 'better man' for the 'job.'" Actually I'm waiting for him to get both hands slammed in a limo door so he can't do it anymore.

And now...

Why Sarah Palin Scares the Bejeesus Out of Me

Let's face it, there's a lot to hate about Sarah Palin. Like, oh, where she stands on any given issue. Or how she has a set of index cards with pre-written answers on them which she throws back at any question, whether it matches or not.

But right now, Sarah Palin just scares me. Scares me shitless, and I'm terrified that something's going to happen between now and November 4 that will send her and her air quoting bastard of a running mate straight to the White House. And here's why I'm scared.

Let's see, what have we got. We have Troopergate. We have Clothinggate. We have I Don't Know What The Vice Presiden't Job Isgate. We have Alaska Pays For My Kids To Travelgate. We have I Charged Alaska Money For Nights I Slept In My Own Housegate. We have I Wouldn't Answer Questions Asked of Me and Said I Wanted To Expand The Role of the VP at the Debategate.

When I add all these together, what she did and those she chooses to address, here's what I come up with. Palin's doing some really shitty stuff, and I'm not so sure she realizes it's shitty. Because she thinks she's entitled to do all these things. She thinks it's part of the perks of being the Governor of a state no one cares about, and if you don't think it is, you're wrong.

She's the governor - of course that gives her the right to fire the top guy over the state troopers who wouldn't kick her ex-brother-in-law off the force. He should have done what she wanted! She's the governor - of course that gives her the right to take her kids to any event she attends, at the state's expense, even if she has to fudge a little and say they were there in an "official capacity." (Sorry about the air quote.)

When she was found guilty of not legal wrongdoing but ethical wrongdoing in the whole Troopergate debacle, she immediately went out and issued a statement saying how happy she was that she was found innocent of any unlawful or unethical activities. She refuses to accept anything she doesn't want to! She lives in her own mind! And the fact that at least one reporter, somewhere on the tarmac or sitting across a chair from her, didn't get right in her face and show her the decree, stick it right in her face and say, "See? They said you were an unethical so and so!" really pisses me off. Because I'd love to see if, with the statement in her face, she'd still refuse to believe it.

And so she thinks the job of the Vice President is to be in charge of the Senate. To, as she puts it, "If they want to, get in there with the Senators and make laws." Or does she? If she does, why would she have made that debate statement about wanting an expansion of the duties of Vice President? I think she thinks if she says it, out loud and on television, then it will be so, and if this woman gets into office, I can only imagine what's ahead for us. Forced prayer in school, federal ban on gay marriage or civil union, a woman's right to choose out the window, and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to see her put a magic tablet in McCain's Ovaltine that sends him away so she can be President. Let's face it, it wouldn't have to be a very big tablet to send him over the edge.

Pat Buchanan, craphead that he is, appeared on my new girlfriend Rachel Maddow's show last night and said the press is going after Palin because "she's pretty." He said she'd given the Republicans this huge bounce after the convention, and what has her so down in the polls now is the financial world went blooey. And I hate to tell Pat, actually, I love to, but she was heading down the dumper before the world's finances were. And it all started when she opened her mouth and showed us all what a fucking pea-brain she is.

And folks, a pea-brain with that much self-importance and ambition is a scary, scary thing.

Oh, and someone in one of the forums I was reading today said she reminded them exactly of Peggy Hill from "King of the Hill." I wish I'd have thought of that.

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