The Seething Barometer of Hate

Hello, friends! Yes, tonight I am the seething barometer of hate.

This past Thursday I had an odd experience. I had to go get my car serviced. That in and of itself is not so odd, but something happened upon my arrival. I pulled onto the lot and damn near ran over a man and his tripod.

I looked up and noticed the tripod first, then the man behind it. Then I saw another man, and another who was dressed as the devil. Then I realized what was going on. They were filming a commercial for the dealership, a commercial starring no less a person than their spokesman, the Dealman. I absolutely despise the Dealman and have wanted to slap his face since he first started showing up on my TV screen years ago.

Yes, I had my chance, because I was about in slapping distance, and definitely in distance to run over him with my car. But I did neither, I was feeling benevolent and let him live to make his commercial with the devil and make me want to slap him forever more.

Oddly enough, once I was safely in the waiting area and my car was being serviced, the devil came in to get a cup of coffee. I looked at him and said, "I always knew you'd find me." He laughed. In case you've wondered, the devil appears to be about 21 years old and wears a red silk ruffled shirt under his cape.

The servicing itself was quick and painless - and free, since I was on my fifth or so, it's a deal they have there - but while I was waiting I did a couple of things. One was my normal waiting activity, making a grid of about 64 squares on a piece of paper and drawing little pencil designs in each square, and the other was making a list of things I hate.

I'd been thinking about it even before I saw the Dealman. I don't think of myself as a hate-filled bag of bones, but I do tend to start a lot of sentences with the words "I hate." I'm not proud of it, it just happens. So I thought I'd make up a little list and maybe use it here, which is exactly what I'm going to do. Tonight.

So here it is, the list of what's really on my wick right now.

I hate:

Town Hall Shouters. I don't care what your views of health care, abortion, socialism, gun control, or anything else are. I might think they're idiotic, but they're your views. But for God's sake, these Town Hall Shouters are about to drive me crazy. If there's one thing I can't stand (there are many, actually) it's someone who won't shut the fuck up long enough for anyone else to get a word in, and when it's in a public forum setting, well, you've seen the clips, I don't think I need to continue.

Birthers. Why haven't these assholes gone away yet? The fake Kenyan birth certificate gave me a great deal of pleasure, though.

Glenn Beck. What a waste of human flesh.

People Who Use the Phrase, "Ya THINK?" Man, that is so annoying. I don't know how it got started, if someone on some TV show uses it as a catch phrase, but I can even take a nice Valley Girled "Duh!" over this one. I know two people in my real life and one person on television who use this to the point where I have to flex my hands into fists to keep my blood pressure down.

People Who Actually Believe There's a Death Panel. As my TV husband Keith Olbermann himself says, do these people honestly believe that if that was in the offing (oooh, no pun intended), there would be anyone anywhere, Democrat, Liberal, or blob - who would be in favor of it? Next I'm expecting to hear the health care bill will send every third child into outer space.

Cell Phone Lame-Ass Music People. I'm not a fan of the ringtone, I'll tell you that right now. Well, mainly, I guess that's because I'm not a fan of the cell phone in general. I don't like being in a restaurant and hearing The Macarena or Pachelbel's Canon or that song about liking big butts going off. Worse yet, hearing all three at once. But even more I hate calling a person on a cell phone, which I do more and more at work, and getting, "Please enjoy the music while your party's being reached." No! I won't enjoy the music, because I didn't pick the music. I don't like the music. I don't like Metallica's "Enter Sandman," or whatever rap song is rising the charts. Or redneck cowboy-hat wearing good-time songs. Or that song about liking big butts. I like my cell phones to ring like cell phones, and I like to call cell phones and hear - well, ringing like cell phones.

Crazy People Who Won't Just Kill Themselves. OK, I guess it's too much to ask for on this one. I was reminded of this yet again after the guy shot the women in a gym. It was compounded to the one I'll never get over, the Virginia Tech shooter, and every time I pull up the news I seem to find stories of distraught unemployed fathers who shoot their whole families and then themselves, disgruntled workers who shoot up their workplaces and then themselves, etc. Guys, do us all a favor and just shoot yourselves. Leave the innocent people out of it. Of course, there is no solution to this, because those people are flat-ass batshit crazy, so killing others is part of the deal. And though I'd like to have some sympathy for the crazy, it's nigh-on impossible in this situation.

People Who Comment on Internet Forums Just to Say, "First!" Why on God's green earth do people do this? I mean, what - how empty does your life have to be for being the first to comment on some internet forum to be such a life event? And what's worse, many of these dildos aren't the first! They just think they are. So you're reading other people's lame-ass comments, and halfway down the page you see a one-word comment - "First!" Dildos. Anyone who does that should be stripped of all internet privileges.

There. I just wish it was out of my system. But it's not.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners! And look at the entries! So, it's not the heat, it's the _____:
- Honorable Mentions go to Marla (marlamarlamarla), with her "Eventuality," Mike, with his "Entropy," and Mr Middlebrow, with his "Eternity."
- Runners Up go to LilyG, with her "Eccentricity," and Kellie (with an ie), with her "Evaporation."
- And this week we have dual winners. They are Michelle (the dishy), with her "Eucharist," and the DeepFatFriar, with his "Endometreosis."
- Great entries all - thanks for playing, you've all done very well!