Am I Crazy?
Hello, friends. Don't answer the above question, please.
I had several things to write about, I made a little list on the way to the wilds of Ohio, but something came up today that has been griping at me for some 12 hours. See, 12 hours ago, I got my mail.
It went a little like this. [open envelope] "Shit." [open envelope] "Shit." I got a past-due bill for $325 from the little ambulance ride I took during my June Freakout to the ER. I'd already paid $325, then I paid another $325. Yes, $650 for a two-mile trip. Then here was another. I called, knowing it was wrong, and it was, they had my money and I was clear as far as they were concerned.
I also got a new bill from the same June Freakout, I don't even know what this one was, maybe blood tests, $149. That brings my total for the JF to over $1340, all payable by me. Who knows if I'll get more.
I got my cable bill, I was expecting that one, and my sewer bill, expected but sent quite early.
Then I happened upon a teeny tiny envelope. The address was in my sister's handwriting.
"Hmmm," I thought. "What have I done? What haven't I done? Thank you card? Sister having a party she'd actually invite me to? Throwing a party for the lower social caste?" I opened it up. And said, "Shit."
"A Baby Shower!" it said, in happy letters.
I opened the card, and that's when the griping began.
Now, I don't know the social norms on this subject, and I don't care about them. I'm talking sense and right and good taste.
Seems my sister is throwing a baby shindig for a friend of ours. This friend is someone I love dearly and whose husband I love dearly. They are both gainfully employed with good jobs, live in a new subdivision in a large brand new home. They have nice automobiles, nice clothes, and take regular vacations.
But here's the thing.
Our friend, who I love dearly, has a daughter who's about four. I love her dearly too. And the baby that's on the way, who I'm sure I'll love dearly, is also a girl.
Why a shower?
Why are people expected to put out money buying loads of baby goods for an upwardly mobile someone who's already had one baby of the same sex a scant four years ago? Hasn't the world heard of hand-me-downs?
I don't know, maybe this all got to me so much because of the $1340 and the fact that my first Sauerkraut Band Oktoberfest check, which was going to be put towards the $230 mouthpiece I broke the first night, is now going to be put towards the $149 from the hospital, and I'm supposed to be happy to go sit and play baby games and watch other people eat cupcakes I can't eat and have to come up with a gift for someone who should already have more than enough to spare.
Is it me? Is this in bad taste? I could probably live with it if it was a boy happening along, no one wants to dress her little boy in a pink dress (well, no one around here), but it smacks to me of giving a wedding shower to someone on her second husband. Which maybe they do nowadays, who am I to say?
Anyway, I looked at the date and thankfully it was on an Oktoberfest day. I told my sister I wouldn't be there, and she said she figured as much since she knew I'd be gone. Then I just went all out and told her how tacky I found it. And you know what? She kind of agreed, which meant she was either lying or so desperate to throw a party at her house that maybe I'll be getting that invitation to the Lower Social Caste Party in the near future.
Sometimes the world puzzles me.
Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, boy, do we have acrowinners! So, tell my about my next Annual Nervous Breakdown.
- Honorable Mentions go to LilyG, with her "Took little unprescribed analgesic. Straitjacket!" and Duke (duke,duke,duke of comments), with his "Tiptoeing lightly under autumn scrapheaps."
- Runner-Up goes to the DeepFatFriar, with his "Tossing lascivious underwear at sister." Might happen, DFF.
- And this week winner is Marla (marlamarla), with her "Tomorrow. Lock up all steakknives." Might happen again, Marla.
- Thanks to all who played, you've all done very well!
Labels: A Pod's Mind
6 Comments:
OK, first of all, let me say, It's an honor to be nominated, but kick ass fabulous to win acro. (I happened to crack myself up this week, like never before...)
and second, yes, a baby shower for baby 2 is tacky, boy OR girl. Just not done in the best circles, unless it's just an excuse for those who were not friends for the first birth to gift the impending babykins.
I am a bitch. I hardly ever send a gift if I don't go. And sometimes, I don't go just so I don't have to send a gift. (and I have thrown my fair share of showers, let me tell you....)
I'm not sure what the whole baby shower-wedding shower is about either. It especially chaps me when they have these registry deals set up at stores. Sounds like a good idea (get them something they asked for so they'll like it) but you find the list is always super luxury items of no practical use.
I'm sorry, but I'm not buying someone $200 leaded class crystal goblets from Germany or trendy name brand kids clothes at 10 times normal price. When I see stuff like that I walk away and don't give them shit.
I thought the idea of a shower was to help new parents or couples with the expense of setting up shop. You get them practical things they need to raise a kid or furnish a home like toasters, diapers, everyday dishes, and so forth. Seeing lists of luxury crap is like telling me they don't need anything. Since they don't need anything I don't give them anything.
You've found the first law of hospitals when it comes to billing. They realize many of their clients are old or very sick and may not know what's been paid. They will ALWAYS, and I mean always, wait a few months and send you a another bill in the hopes you'll pay twice. They will also bill the insurance company at the same time they bill you hoping to collect twice. It's amazing how many people simply pay the bills without question. I've had your experience at multiple billing every single time I've gone to a hospital. In case you haven't noticed, hospitals are basically medical sites staffed by doctors but managed by criminals who prey on the sick and helpless.
Any gift-giving occasion can be fraught with conflict. Sometimes the recipient really does have every blessed thing they could possibly desire, and may not even like or appreciate what you get them, but if you don't pony up a gift you look like a cheap-ass.
What pisses me off is that since I have never gotten married and never intend to, nor do I plan to ever have a baby, I never get one of these kickass parties and presents. Sometimes I consider registering at a bunch of places and throwing myself a "Single Forever" shower.
If you don't pick out a bunch of leaded crystal German goblets I'll send you something Stenn. Keep things useful like the collectors edition of Futurama packaged in a Bender head.
According to old social rules, a second shower isn't done, and yes, the second shower should not be a full-blown affair. It should be a "welcome baby" party after the baby's born, to which on the card it should say 'no gifts' or 'diaper shower' at best. Really, for subsequent kids the first/only party for them should be the Christening/naming ceremony or whatever.
Of course, that being said, if hell froze over and I had another kid, I'd be totally screwed, because I got rid of everything so fast as NTCNTC stopped needing it because I had nowhere to store it. I didn't try to make money off it on E-bay, but gave most of it to the cleaning lady in our building, a women's rescue shelter, or back to the original people who had passed it on to me for their next kid. The e-bay thing kind of bugs me, especially if you got it as a gift. Pay it forward -- there are plenty of people out there who really have nothing, just give it to them. But I also had no problem with hand-me-downs or second-hand in the first place.
If you feel remotely awkward that you aren't going, get a nice children's book and send it along. But anyone worth their salt isn't monitoring whether you gave them anything.
The social nightmare for me is NTCNTC's birthday parties. I genuinely want people to come to see him (also to pay back other party invites over the year) so I had an open house (and probably will again), but don't want to feel that I'm shilling for gifts. So I tried to walk the line of who to invite, what to tell them ('please just come, he doesn't need gifts, my apartment is too small to store stuff, we just want to see you") and not overinviting so I don't seem like I'm begging for gifts. I later find out someone got miffed because they weren't on the list. (To be fair, I thought I had e-mailed that person). You can't win. One or two people did listen and showed up empty-handed, and I was thrilled.
You work for the Company You Work For -- call the biller and ask why you're being billed for x or y -- half the time they haven't read the terms of your plan and are just sending out bills (or, as Duke said, doing it totally on purpose). Thankfully when I was pregnant, I was home on bedrest, so I really did have nothing better to do all day then ride the medical staff. I have to say, my insurance company rarely did the screwing up (unlike my old one), but the billers just sent any old thing.
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