Olympique

Hello. I should have a more insightful and witty blog tonight, but sorry. The Olympics have been taking up my time.

On Sunday, I hit the ice for the short program in the pairs figure skating competition. Sadly, I was disqualified because I didn't have a partner. But did I let that get me down? Of course not! I competed in the long program last night just for spite, and do you know what happened? Those damn judges wouldn't give me any scores! They refused to score me! It was a travesty.

Well, I'm not one to take these things lying down, so I just decided I'd join up in the men's competition. Tonight is my short program. I'll be skating to the Orange Blossom Special. I'll let you know how it comes out, in case you don't watch me on the TeeVee.

Anyway, that's a good segue into our Olympic acro, "What Sport Would You Like to See in the Olympics?" Let's get right to the winners!

Honorable Mention, or Bronze Medal, goes to Kellie (with an ie), with her "Tough Broad River Skating." I'm assuming this is like Roller Derby on ice. I like it!

Runner-Up, or Silver Medal, goes to LilyG, with her "Tiny Baby Racing, Seated." Definitely seated. Standing baby races - we'd have babies littering the snow-covered hillsides. We wouldn't want that. I don't think. Would we want that?

The Winner, or Gold Medal, goes to the DeepFatFrair, with his "Tyrannosaurs Barbecuing Russian Skiers." I like it! "And he's rounding the curve, and - he's disappeared! Another Russian has disappeared!" Then on the Bear Channel, "And Bingo's caught Kalishnikov, and there he goes, onto the spit! Great move!"

And finally, into the Forever Hall of Fame for Acro goes Marla (marlamarla), with her "Twitching Bet Randomly Skiing." That would not only be a great event (because I'd win, being the only competitor), it would be a great channel. 24 hours of me skiing around aimlessly, which is how I feel I'd ski if I ever tried.

By the way, in case you didn't know, Marla (marlamarla) had major brain surgery some five days ago. And she's here making witty acros, forever gaining my admiration. That's dedication, and she's an all-time Hall of Famer for that! Love you, Marla!