Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Things You Maybe Shouldn't Tell

Hello, friends.

I don't think of myself as talking a lot, though some might disagree. And I generally don't let out any deep dark secrets except when I'm drinking, as Hucklebug listeners well know. I'd say my podcastmate Stennie could edit together a loop of my gaffes and confessions that she could blackmail me big-time with. Good thing I don't have any money and she hates editing.

But if I'm having a day-to-day conversation with someone, I seldom let something really awful spill out. Not everyone's like that.

Oh, the things I've heard at TheCompanyIWorkFor. I am regaled from time to time with stories of cheating spouses and clothes being thrown out in the yard, with that time someone drove with their feet or hit a car in the parking lot, but no one was looking so they kept on going.

I once saw a total stranger tell my mother she had beautiful teeth, and she wanted to know who made them. When I was a teenager, we were on vacation in Florida, and a woman told my mom, sister, and I that it was so hot it melted the adhesive on her sanitary napkin.

But most of the time it's stuff like "I have hemorrhoids, diarrhea, a head full of snot," or "I've gotten so fat I split my pants" that come my way. I swear to you this is true, one day I was looking for a certain vitamin at the Wal-Mart (or Wall E, as I write it in my checkbook), and a man accosted me, yes, he accosted my person right there in the aisle, wouldn't let me move, and asked me if I could help him locate a certain vitamin. He really wanted to try this vitamin, he told me, because it was supposed to be really good for prostate trouble. And he was having him some prostate trouble, got up all night long to pee, and so many of his friends had the same prostate trouble, and they told him this vitamin might really help his old prostate. If I'd have heard the word "prostate" one more time, I would have started crying right there between vitamins D and E.

And he was old. See, I don't want to single out a certain sector of the population where this is concerned, because it's not always old people who do this, but, well, it's almost always old people. It seems the older they get, the less they care about who knows about the inner workings of their, well, nether regions and such.

But you see.

You see, my mom has always been one of these people. She just lets it fly, she doesn't care. Sure, I may cringe, and I have, many times, but it bothers her not one whit. She'll tell you about sneezing and peeing her pants. And worse. Believe me.

And that's really why I came to the old Blog Table tonight. Because she told me something that just blew my mind. And I know we were on the phone and I'm her daughter and it's not like she broadcast it nationwide, but after the conversation, after I picked myself off the floor from the laughter, I immediately said, "Why do people tell these things?"

See, it all started with me, really. Me and Michelle the Dishy. You'll remember I got The Crud on Christmas Day. I still have remnants of The Crud, but I had it really bad there for a while. And Michelle mentioned to me the netti pot. Now, I like to think of myself as a modern gal, but I'd never heard of a netti pot. Then lo and behold, and because she's such a sweetheart, I got a netti pot in the mail courtesy of Dishy. And to be honest, I'm still learning to use it. I think it's because I'm not good at sniffing things up my nose. I could never be a drug snorter, I don't think I could get it up there. I can't blow my nose, it produces no results. But I'm trying the netti pot, and I'm going to master it! It's become a challenge!

Then my sister got The Crud and bought 150 different over-the-counter medications until she decided to break down and see a doctor, something I never bothered to do, and her doctor told her to - get a netti pot. And she did, and now her whole family are netti converts. They got it right off the bat, but then again, they blow their noses a lot.

And so now, after granny's little stay in the hospital, it was suggested that she get a netti pot. And so she did, and that's why she called me up at work today. Well, that's a lie, she called me because it was snowing and she was bored, and so she talked and I listened. But the pot is one of the things she talked about.

And in this conversation I learned that someone is having way more trouble learning the netti pot than I am.

She told me she flipped through the booklet and looked at the pictures and didn't have any faith that the thing would work, but she tried it anyway, but it didn't "come out the other side." You see, the thing with the netti pot is that you sniff saline up one nostril and it comes out the other, thus clearing out your little passages and keeping them happy.

But then she told me that what she was doing was pouring the water from the netti pot - into her ear.

"Your ear?" I exclaimed, and she said that in the demonstration picture it looked just like the man was putting it in his ear. Thank God Dad came along and discovered it, or she might have drowned. I said, "Mother, did you put that in your ear and actually expect the water to come out the other ear? Because if that happened you'd have way more problems than we could help you with."

And then I began to giggle, and I giggled all day. I'm kind of giggling now. Because that's just so my mother. It's so her to stick a netti pot in her ear and then run to the phone to spread the news.

So if any of you out there are in the market for a netti pot, please read the actual words of the instruction booklet, OK? However, if you choose not to and the spout of your pot ends up somewhere other than your noses, this is one instance where it's OK to tell me. Unless it ends up somewhere around your prostate.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Acrowinners, we have acrowinners! So, what will the new drug cure?
- Runner-Up goes to Marla, with "Delectable Kid's Fingers." Actually, that could be a problem. Especially with Stennie around, you know she likes to bite cute kids.
- And this week's winner is Kellie (with an ie), with help from her boy Ervin, with their "Diseased Kangaroo Face." That definitely needs a drug. Nice teamwork, and good going, Ervin!
- Thanks to all who played, you've all done very well!


Monday, January 25, 2010


Hello, lovers of letters! Welcome to a long overdue round of acromania.

But first - a little update.

Yes, "blogging more" seems to be the first resolution I've broken this year. I've been horrible. Well, it's good to get that first one out of the way. Now I can break the rest with no guilt.

Granny (my mom) got sprung from the hospital on Friday. She's doing well, I was over there on Saturday and Sunday. In fact, she was well enough on Sunday to make a nice roast with vegetables, which she shared with me, and let me tell you. It was magnificent, I've been eating on it for two days.

I survived last week, spent Tuesday drinking with my nephew, who's now 21, and that was a blast. Skipped Wednesday's TheCompanyIWorkFor meeting, went to band, stayed at Mr M's Wednesday night in preparation for my annual "girl's appointment" at the doctor on Thursday, but had to cancel when the whole region was iced over. The region of Virginia where I am, not the region of my girlness. Drove back home with the ice following me, went back to work. Then had a lovely Friday Hucklebugging with Stennie.

This weekend Mr M and the DeepFatFriar came down, and it was lovely. A great night.

So, see, I've been right here, plugging along.

OK, let's get to acro.

I've been seeing a commercial on TV lately that just makes me laugh. It's for a drug called Latisse. What does Latisse do? It grows your eyelashes! Yes, folks, mascara isn't enough anymore, now your eyelashes must be chemically enhanced!

So I got to thinking. What other kind of silly drug are they going to come up with to be improved by drugs? Less nose hair? More nose hair? Turning an innie belly button into an outie? Who knows?

You do! You can tell us with this week's acrochallenge. "What's The Next Thing Drugs Will Improve?"

All the rules are the same. Everyone gets three entries to come up with the best acronym they can, one that matches not only the topic above, but also the letters below. The letters are randomly drawn from the acrobasket. The acrobasket is taking something to soften his wicker. Then tomorrow night at 10:00 est I shall be reading the entries and naming the winners.

So, the topic? "What's The Next Thing Drugs Will Improve?" The letters?


Yes, a three-letter acro! So take advantage and join in the fun!

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Milo and I went out tonight, and saw a deer! A deer was on the hill across the creek in my back yard! He was beautiful, but got spooked and took off like the wind. Milo was most intrigued.


Monday, January 18, 2010

And Off We Go Again!

Hello, blogees. I'm sitting here trying to decide whether or not to do an acro.

First of all, Granny's back in the hospital. Good and bad. Good, it's not for the same things that confined her some 11 times last year. Bad, she's got a bad case of chest congestion that's making it very difficult for her to breathe. She was taken to the hospital in the wee hours of this morning, and they admitted her. I went to see her today, and she's getting oxygen, but not the kind I'm used to seeing, the little tube going up the nose. She's got the whole big strap-on-your-face kind. And she talks and talks, and no one can understand her through that big mask, so there's a lot of "Huh? What?" in CCU, where she's resting.

She's not running a fever, blood pressure and pulse is good, so hopefully, this won't be as scary as it began. Keep good thoughts.

So I'm trying to decide about acro. I had all intentions of doing one this week, had a topic, then I realized something. I won't be here tomorrow night, won't be here Wednesday night. Probably be back late on Thursday night. (I'm going to be so tired of driving this week.)

So let's save that topic, and I give you my solemn promise we will acro like mad next week.

Other than that, the snow is melted, the temperature made it 50 here today, I'm supposed to get my winter coat back Wednesday (life is full of irony), and I'm still addicted to Wii tennis.

I've been practicing the clarinet nightly in anticipation of the solo (duet solo, that is two solo clarinetists with the band) that is supposed to happen with the Community Band on the spring concert. I'm still a little dubious, but hey, gotta be ready if it happens.

Milo is fine, and sends you all an enthusiastic "Brrrf!"

And that's about it for news. I'll try and check in Thursday.

Happy week.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Once again, the actualy Olympics are coming up next month. It always makes me smile when the Olympics come around. I don't get that excited by the games anymore, but I keep thinking about how I began the Olympic Update in, what, 2004? 2006? And it's never gone away.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

More CSI: Podunkville

There are ten million stories in the naked city. However, here in the nekkid city, there are about 20. Wanna hear some of the more fun ones?

More stories from the local Police Blotter! As always, names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, and me, your humble blogger.

Let's start with, well, convolution.

Leaving a Scene, Drivers Revoked: Deputy Dawg responded to a report of a single vehicle accident on Old Road. The complainant reported that the driver of the vehicle had fled on foot. Dawg then traveled to the residence of a complainant of a stolen car matching the vehicle in the crash, where the complainant reported he had woken up to find the vehicle, registered to his wife, missing. The complainant's wife reported she always kept a spare key in the glove box of her car. Later, Dawg responded back to the residence, where troopers had responded to the report of a domestic disturbance. Dawg spoke with the vehicle owner, who said her husband had contacted County 911 reporting he knew who stole the vehicle, then provided a fictitious name the wife remembered to be a former manager of Taco Bell. After concluding his report did not make sense and that he matched the suspect description, Dawg planned to charge the complainant with driving while revoked and leaving the scene of an accident with property damage.

Someone's in trouble with the wife. What I want to know is how the wife knew the manager of Taco Bell had a ficticious name.

Let's chalk these two up to bad parenting. If I'd been in either of these, my parents would have kicked my ass.

Domestic Battery: Patrolman Humbert responded to a domestic situation on Ding Dong St, where a suspect advised that she had been arguing with her mother over some money that belonged to her. The suspect then threw a lamp at her mother, which cut her arm open. The suspect then left the residence. Charges were not pressed.

Domestic Battery, Destruction of Property: A Left Side Avenue complainant reported his daughter hit him over the head with a beer bottle, leaving a laceration on his forehead. The suspect then allegedly broke the complainant's television. The complainant also advised Patrolman Humbert that the suspect was highly intoxicated. No warrants were issued.

See? There wouldn't have to be warrants or charges. My ass would be kicked.

And now for a little road trip.

Joy Riding: Patrolman Gargles received a report from a Left Side Avenue man who advised his light blue Chevrolet Cavalier was missing from his residence. Gargles issued a be-on-the-lookout order for the vehicle, but it was returned later.

A light blue Cavalier? Apparently "joy" riding is a subjective term.

I swear this was in the Blotter.

Destruction of Property: Sgt Pepper received a complaint that someone removed the cow horns that were mounted to his vehicle while it was parked in the lot at The Sad Mall.

If found, return to Hoss Cartwright, Ponderosa, USA. You know, actually, this entry is horribly written. It sounds from the wording like someone removed Sgt Pepper's cow horns. Which I guess is entirely possible.

How about some dumb victims?

Petit Larceny: A complainant reported that he laid his Blackberry on a table while he was working in the hospital cafeteria. He told Lt. Mountain he turned around when a friend asked for help. The phone was gone when he returned.

Petit Larceny: Deputy Dawg received a report from a Playland woman who reported someone had entered her vehicle using her keys and removed the cash she intended to use for rent.

Hold on to your shit, don't give up your keys, and don't put your rent money in the car. And you may want to invest in a couple of thinking caps.

Here's one that conjures up a picture I love.

Stray Dog: A caller reported that her family could not leave their home because of a stray dog on Milk St. Patrolman Humbert investigated and the family made it to the car.

I like this one. Patrolman Humbert standing in the driveway, looking both ways, then giving the "all clear" signal while the family sneaks out to the car. Crisis averted.

And then - there's just the weird.

Grand Larceny: Deputy Egghead received a complaint from County 911 that a woman had stolen an ambulance from the Rescue Squad on scene at the Place Where People Stay Hotel. As the officer was en route, he received word that the ambulance had crashed and was pointing into the air. Rescue Squad workers explained the crash, advising they were on the scene to talk with a woman who claimed she needed to get to the Catholic Church as a matter of life and death for all mankind. As they spoke with her, the woman reportedly made a dash for the ambulance and attempted to flee in it. A Squad employee was able to get into the vehicle with the woman, and Egghead reported he likely saved lives or serious property damage in the process. Egghead spoke with the woman in his cruiser and later transported her to the hospital.

Wow, that's pretty amazing, a woman stealing an ambulance to get to the Catholic Church to avert a crisis for all mankind, and when the ambulance wrecks it ends up "pointing into the air." If that's not a sign of some sort, I don't know what is. I'm assuming she didn't make it to the church, and so I've been wearing a helmet and looking up a lot lately.

How about "scenes I wish I'd have been at?"

Assault, Battery, Destruction of Property, Petit Larceny: Corporal Winters responded to the Happy Haven Mobile Home Park, where an altercation was reported. One of the subjects present when the officer arrived advised he had confronted his neighbor about money he said was owed to him and that the neighbor became upset. The neighbor reported the first subject had come to his home to apologize for a previous argument and that the two argued again once they were together. While the two men were fighting, a female allegedly entered the fray, striking two of the people present with a detergent bottle. Windows in the alledged victim's home were also broken during the altercation. Doo Rutt, Vie Tilt, and Pinkie Rutt were all taken into custody. Pinkie Rutt was later released to get medical treatment, when she reported a finger was broken.

Yes, but whose finger? I would have been chompin' popcorn and screamin,' "Get 'em! Get 'em" when the woman with the detergent bottle showed up. In fact, if it was was one those 24 load bottles, I can see where the broken finger came from. Those things are wicked.

I call this Most Likely To Appear in a Quentin Tarrantino Movie.

Failure to Appear, Possessions of a Controlled Substance: Deputy Central and Deputy Fire drove to the Other Happy Haven Mobile Home Park in response to a Be On The Lookout report for three subjects reported to have grabbed a television from the shelf of the CVS Pharmacy and fled with it. At the residence, Fire walked into a bedroom in which a female appeared to be having a seizure. After a rescue squad was contacted, the woman came out of the seizure. In the room, the deputies observed evidence of drug use and a white substance appearing to be crack cocaine. After the three subjects were taken in for questioning, it was discovered that one had a bench warrant out for shoplifting, conspiracy, and receiving/transferring stolen property.

That was trippy! [cue your favorite Link Wray guitar piece] By the way, CVS sells televisions? Who knew?

And finally, two personal favorites.

Probation Violation: Sgt Treetop responded to Union Supermarket, where a complainant reported a shoplifter in custody. The manager advised the man had taken a bag of peach candy, stuffed it in his shoe, and walked out of the store. A background check revealed the suspect was wanted on a probation violation in Georgia. He was arrested.

Awwww, he was missing Georgia. He stole peach candy!

Public Intoxication, Disorderly Conduct: Deputy Thorn was dispatched to the Sad Mall, where an intoxicated male was reported with his trousers around his knees. Officers located the man in the parking lot of the cafeteria with his pants unbuttoned and unzipped, being held up by an off-duty officer. [the man, or his pants?] Thorn instructed the man to button his pants and leave the lot. The man was arrested after officers determined he was too intoxicated to even button his pants.

So - they were going to let a man walking around with his pants around his knees walk free if he'd just button his pants? Thankfully, he was guilty of a 216 - Being Too Drunk To Button One's Pants. Book 'em, Thorn.

I'd love to have a job writing for the Police Blotter. I could really liven that baby up, even though some of these were pretty lively anyway.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Everything changes, right? Just as Stennie's blog recently did away with Daily Trivia, I'm trying to think of a place for Picture Sunday and Acro. I'm quite tired of them both. I'm thinking they might be a little easier if I changed their days, or, well, I don't know. Does anyone care? Does anyone have any suggestions?


Wednesday, January 06, 2010

One Thing Leads to Another

When I get home after work, I take Milo out for a while and let him pull me around in the snow, I fix something to drink, and I sit down at my desk to check email and Facebook, and generally end up playing Text Twist. And of course I'll turn on the television while I do this.

It's a good time of the day to hear news, but unfortunately there isn't any on TV. MSNBC has Chris Matthews, who's a good guy but for God's sake stop yelling at me, Chris! This follows up with the Ed show, Ed Schultz, who also may well be a good guy, but he's blustery and seems to be pointing his finger down my throat for his entire show.

Fox shows Glenn Beck, who I'll occasionally turn in to to see what the enemy has going on, and I always tell myself it's just for a laugh, but I never laugh, I scream at my television and my blood pressure hits somewhere around 190/120 and I fear my brains will blow against the wall, so I've pretty much learned to realize he's just off limits.

Local news just doesn't interest me. I live in a small town. I know all the local news by walking down the street. In fact, I know more news than the local station does just by walking down the street. Although I must admit our local news people are sometimes good for a laugh because they often get tongue-tied and can't pronounce words right.

Then there's CNN, which used to be a decent news channel way back in the day, but they now hover somewhere around Fox in the believability department, and they often report old news. CNN.com is worse for this, they'll put up headlines I've read a month ago, but the cable channel does it too. They also have political shows after work, and again, brains against the wall, so I give them a pass.

So I inevitably end up on CNN Headline News. Remember when this channel started? It was so CNN could have some hour-long shows, and the newshound had a place to go that was 24 hours of breaking news.

Lord have mercy.

CNN Headline news, which is embarrassing but I watch it, has become the television equivalent of the National Enquirer. I mean, we've all read the National Enquirer at one time or other in the privacy of our homes, even though few will say it out loud. I've blogged on some of their stuff before, Nancy "Hang 'Em!" Grace and "Showbiz 'Coming Up After the Break!' Today."

Headline News, which is now called HLN, and I'm thinking it's some dodge against a false advertising claim, has a stable of hosts. There's the Prime News guy, Jane Velez-Mitchell, who does "Issues" and has issues, and Nancy Grace. And now there's Joy Behar.

That's where the blog title comes in. There's a commercial for her new show where she's cracking wise with Nancy Grace, and the old Fixx song "One Thing Leads to Another" is playing in the background. I'm sure someone was paid dearly for that idea, Nancy leading into Joy and all that, but now I've noticed they use the song in other commercials of theirs.

So in the spirit of linkage, let's see how one thing leads to another.

Okay, the big news stories of today. Senator Dodd announced he won't seek re-election. The Underwear Bomber was indicted. The man (and there's a term used loosely) who shot up the Holocaust Museum died in prison.

And those led to:

The Prime News guy leading off the Prime News Program with a story about a baby who's been missing about 3 days. He took calls from viewers who all said, "I hope they find that baby!" That story led to another, about someone who wrote a book telling people how to shoot up heroin. He took calls from viewers who all said, "Well, I never."

Prime News guy led to Jane V-M, who's given up her mullet for a Farrah Fawcett in 1977 haircut that's almost as bad, and her top news "issue" of the day is that a kid got burned when he was with his dad at a "drunken party." Oh, but this is right up Jane's alley, because she will tell you - and I mean, she will tell you this every single night, up to 18 times a show - that she is in fact a recovering alcoholic with 14 years sobriety. And in fact, if you want to read all about it, you can, in her very own book, "I Want," which she holds up for you to see, also at regular intervals during the show. And in case you forget, it shows up constantly on a crawl at the bottom of the screen.

Jane V-M also has the added attraction of having a "jury" of regular panelists, in little blocks on the screen just like the Brady Bunch, to discuss her "issues." And if things get too rowdy, Jane will, and this is true, I wouldn't make it up, Jane will produce a big fat gavel and hit it on her desk. I'm waiting for her to miss and give either her free hand or her book a whack, but as of yet, I haven't seen this.

After the jury in blocks has discussed the Burning Boy, they head on to a woman who drowned a baby and the death of the Johnson and Johnson heiress. Which of course has to be drug related, since Jane V-M knows all about this, being a recovering alcoholic with 14 years sobriety which you can read all about in her book, "I Want."

And a drowned baby and dead heiress lead to our dear Nancy Grace, who if you haven't seen this picture, please go here. I swear to you, Stennie repeatedly sending me the link to this picture was the only thing that got me through the Podcastathon.

And so Nancy does an entire show on the missing baby which led off the Prime News guy's show. Boy, don't things come full circle? Nancy also has a book to hawk, which she does, along with telling us all what a great mother she is and driving that home by showing pictures of her precious twins on national television, so every kidnapper and predator who has cable can see what they look like.

Then Joy Behar's show comes on, and I've never seen it. I am still sure without that benefit that it's an hour of her trying to be funnier than her celebrity guest. I don't really have anything against Joy, but that's how she is. It's how a lot of people on TV are.


It's not really Headline News, is it? I was going to say it's the Baby In Peril Channel, but looking through it all, it's really the Listen To Stories of People With Worse Lives Than You, So You Can Feel Better About Your Own Damn Self Channel.

HLN - Hideous Lives Network.

Betland's Olympic Update:
* Yes, I forgot acro last night. I was wii'ing. Forgive mii.


Sunday, January 03, 2010

Picture Sunday

Yes, it's back and badder than ever (take that as you wish), the mighty and feared Picture Sunday! I said I was going to try to blog more this year, so here we go. If I can make myself do it on a Sunday night when there's still laundry and trash duty, it'll be a good start.

So, I rang in 2010 happily, doing the podcast with Stennie. Then on Friday I watched the Rose Parade, which I'm a total sucker for, and headed off to the Sauerkraut Band New Year's party.

Now, as you all know, I don't know how those people put up with me. I'm so glad most of them know me out of the SKB realm, because otherwise they'd think I was a hopeless alcoholic, and an obnoxious one at that. There's something about the Sauerkraut Band that keeps me from spending a sober evening.

I'm not quite sure how it happened this time, if it was that I've been sick or that I hadn't eaten a proper lunch in the day, but I was seriously buzzed after the first J�äger shot and singing of "Ein Prosit." It just went straight to my head. Then with whiskey and beer added in, well, I remember only bits and pieces of the party. I do, however, remember Druken Uno.

It's become a sort of tradition at our parties to play Uno. Now, I don't know how to play Uno. I doubt I ever will. I tend to let everyone pick the cards I play, and you know, oddly enough, I've never won a game of Uno with the Sauerkraut Band! I wasn't alone this time, though - Seth joined us, and he ended up about as confused as I was.

I came back home Saturday in the freezing wind, then today I've stayed in all day. It's frigid here, in the single digits. Every time Milo wants out, I just cringe.

However, one thing I did do tonight, along with cooking and laundry and stripping beds. I finally got a chance to try out the Wii Mr M got me for Christmas! I was pretty much in love with it before I even started playing, it was so easy to set up. Then I created my Mii (the little cartoon version of yourself who plays), and let the good times roll. And boy, did they. It took me about 10 minutes to realize I was totally addicted to Wii Tennis, and I became determined to play till I won a match. That took about 40 minutes, not bad considering I'd never as much as seen anyone play before, and my arm started to feel like someone had punched it, and a screen came up telling me maybe I should take a break for a little while. So my Wii could either feel the grip change with the sore arm, or it saw that I made my Mii really fat. Anyway, can't wait to get back at it, and may I quickly add that although Milo's not so keen on the Wii (he barked a lot as I was setting it up), he stayed out of the way and watched me from the couch.

Now, speaking of Mr M, he is the subject of tonight's Picture Sunday. It's an odd thing.

Last year for Christmas, Mr M said to me, "You know what I'd really like? I'd like you to make me some postcards that I could send to people." So I set about the task of photographing and drawing and learning the whole deal about making postcards. I gave him a nice portfolio with postcards and stamps. He said thanks, and I really kind of thought he just stored them in a closet somewhere, he never mentioned them again.

Then about a month ago, I started getting some odd mail.

I got this postcard, one I made from him from a photograph my friend Susan gave me. Susan's a real photographer now, so I feel very honored to have something she did. As you'll see, there's a reason she gave it to me.

The back of the postcard said simply:

Greetings from Blacksburg. The surf is up and my board is waxed and ready to go!

Mr M

Well, I chuckled, and put it on my desk at work.

Then a couple of weeks later, I got this postcard. It was one I made of a clarinet fingering chart.

The back of the card said:

Hello from Christiansburg! [town 5 miles from B'burg]

Climbed the main pyramid, then toured the Egyptian Museum. Our guide, Mustaf, has a hard time with English, but he certainly helps with bartering for souvenirs.

Wish you were here!

Mr M

Well, that made me giggle a lot, and I stored that one away to bring home and put on the refrigerator.

And within 10 days, I got another. It was of a picture I took at the University of Richmond when Mr M and I were there visiting our buddy David.

On the back was written:

Greetings from Narrows! [tiny town about 25 miles from B'burg]

Sad day here today for the locals. Philomena Pratt, 81 years old, was attacked and eaten by a Great White while wading. (She was well known here as the town's only hooker.)

RIP Philomena.

All I can say is - keep sending me these cards! They're cracking me up.

And since I'm just not feeling a recipe du jour, and I'll have to decide later whether or not I want to keep it up, I'll throw in a little extra.

At one point during the Uno game on Friday, we decided we needed to take a little break for a musical interlude. We'd been watching that You Tube video of the Beer Bottle Band, so we took a swig and gave it a go.

So here's your New Year's greeting from us. This is especially good because only my finger is in it.

Happy week!

Betland's Olympic Update:
* I just this second realized that I don't want to go back to work. I want my vacation back! I wanted a well vacation!